Rich Ullman

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

Why is it ‘cancelled’ in the U.K. but ‘canceled’ in the U.S.?

Because we gave them that L in 1776.

[Mike Lee @SenMikeLee]

Neither the Founding Fathers, nor the authors of the 14th Amendment, nor the millions of Americans who fought and died for their country through the ages intended to establish a nation whose citizenship could so easily be purchased, whether through birth tourism of China’s communist party members or a vast border invasion enabled by faithless presidents.

This is the cheap and cheated citizenship the Supreme Court upholds today.

The long fight for a constitutional amendment begins now.

We must explicitly exclude foreign nationals who break our laws, violate our borders, or exploit loopholes to make their families American citizens.

[Mike Lee @BasedMikeLee]

If a woman gives birth at the Supreme Court, is her baby entitled to automatic status as a justice?

[Super 70s Sports @Super70sSports]

If you’re turning left, you need to get into the intersection on green. It’s not in the manual but that’s how real life works.

Thank you.

- Everyone who understands how to drive

[Selene Mariposa @Selene_Mariposa]

The World Cup has turned America into a discovery channel for the rest of the world.

And they are not handling it well.
In the best possible way.

Here is what they are discovering:

Free public restrooms. Europeans pay every time.
Free water at every restaurant. Just appears.
Free refills. Coffee. Sodas. Iced tea. Unlimited.
Free chips and salsa before you even order.
Free warm bread with dinner.
Ice in drinks like civilized people.
Air conditioning everywhere. Not a moral debate. A fact.
Parking lots attached to the actual place you are going.
Drive throughs where the food comes to the car while you sit in it.
Ranch dressing by the gallon.
Tex-Mex that cannot be explained only experienced.
Dental care that actually works.
Buccee’s. There are no words for Buccee’s.

Then they found the grocery stores.

Five of them within one mile.
Each one the size of an aircraft hangar.
Burgers. Steaks. Brisket. Ribs. Pulled pork. Lamb. Veal. Every cut of every animal ever domesticated by human civilization available in one refrigerated aisle at ten in the morning on a Tuesday.

The Germans stood in the meat section for forty five minutes.
In silence.
Processing.

They finally understand why we do not have trains.

We have roads wide enough for the cars we actually drive.
Parking lots the size of small European countries.
Airports in every city worth visiting.

Why would we need trains.

The Germans are taking ranch home by the bottle.
The Dutch found queso and briefly lost the ability to speak.
The Japanese are photographing HEB like it is the Louvre.
The Czechs are weeping in West, Texas.

Welcome to America.
Everything is free, enormous, air conditioned, comes with chips, and has five grocery stores within a mile that will sell you any cut of any animal you have ever imagined.

Write that down. 🦋

[Andrew Wilkow @WilkowMajority]

The people who created 40 Trillion in debt are angry that Elon Musk created 1 Trillion in wealth.

[tetsuo @tetsuoai]

History's first trillionaire is a guy who catches rockets out of the sky with chopsticks and beams internet to every dead zone on the planet.

Same guy ships cars that drive themselves, humanoid robots for the factory floor, brain chips that let paralyzed people move a cursor with pure thought, and an AI running on a supercomputer his team stood up in months instead of years.

And the people crashing out about his net worth are doing it on the app he owns. The same app governments spent years trying to censor.

You cannot legislate a rocket into orbit.

[Ken Farnaso @KLF]

Never in my 13 years living in DC have I seen this fountain on.

Honestly, I don’t think many Washingtonians thought it would ever come back, especially after last year’s protests.

It’s more beautiful than I expected.

[The White House @WhiteHouse]

Weekly reminder: Decline is a choice.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

How it is supposed to be

[Rep. Nancy Mace @RepNancyMace]

Two illegal immigrants having a child in the United States does not make the child a citizen. It makes a third illegal. Time to close the loophole.

[Rand Paul @RandPaul]

The COVID cover-up goes all the way to the top. Fauci funded the Wuhan lab. Senior intelligence officials hid classified evidence from the president himself. Scientists were silenced. Millions paid the price.

The DOJ has until May 11th to prosecute Fauci before the statute of limitations runs out.

I am not letting this go. The American people deserve justice.

[The White House @WhiteHouse]

TWO KINGS. 👑

[Johnny Midnight ⚡️ @its_The_Dr]

Karoline Leavitt:

“While pretending to engage in a peaceful transfer of power, Barack Hussein Obama, in private, went to great and nefarious lengths to sow discord among the public and sabotage his successor, President Trump.

The new evidence released by the Director of National Intelligence confirms that the Obama administration manufactured and politicized intelligence, which was later used as justification for baseless smears against President Trump — an effort to delegitimize his victory before he even took the oath of office.

The truth is that President Trump never had anything to do with Russia, and the Russia collusion hoax was a massive fraud perpetrated on the American people from the very beginning. The worst part is that Obama knew the truth, as did all the other officials involved, including former CIA Director John Brennan, former Director of National Intelligence James Clapper, former FBI Director James Comey, former Deputy Director Andrew McCabe, and many others.”

[David Sacks @DavidSacks]

Kudos to @xAI for being the first AI company to challenge a Colorado law requiring it to censor truthful answers if they could have a “differential impact” on protected groups. This is Woke AI. It teaches AI models to lie. And it’s a violation of the First Amendment.

[Illini Isaac @IMAbrose]

Keaton shook his defender so hard that the dude inbounded the ball by catching the swish 😭🤯

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

When you grow up watching LeBron instead of Jordan

[U.S. Central Command @CENTCOM]

"If you kill Americans, if you threaten Americans anywhere on earth, we will hunt you down without apology and without hesitation and we will kill you." - Secretary of War Pete Hegseth

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

The lunatic left that took over Twitter was Wormtongue to the World.

Firing @Jack was the final straw. He was the last bulwark.

Now Bret Taylor is chair of @OpenAI …