kong ming

Ultimalope Dragon Phénix Salope

Garen spin 2 win goes brrr brrr

[kong ming @Ultimalope]

From Iron 4 to Platine 4 en 1 an et demi, je suis un homme si heureux
Selon la stat 5 rangs / 1 an et demi ça veut dire je suis Chall milieu 2027
Restez branchés
(merci aux VOD de @Streyito et @Light_lol1 les GOAT de Garen, ainsi que le Don @Gaethaaan pour les enseignements)

[kong ming @Ultimalope]

Les termes 👇

[Jezu @Jezu_lol]

MESSAGE A TOUS LES AD LFL, LE PREMIER QUI PICK UN MAGE EST UNE ENORME SALOPE ET ADMETS ETRE LE PIRE JOUEUR DE LA LEAGUE

[kong ming @Ultimalope]

@BocchiAurore Ce genre de draft qui rend zinzin, tu sais pas quelles runes prendre, tu sais pas à quelle sauce tu vas être mangé.
L'enfer

[Nicolas @nb4ld]

https://t.co/uGCfTjFvPw

[kong ming @Ultimalope]

"Our hope is that accepting a friend request becomes something that inspires joy and excitement rather than something that you do with snipping tool open."
💀💀💀💀
Can you stop spying on me Drew Levin please

[Drew Levin @drewlevin]

Grateful to everyone who made clear to us the extent of this issue. This goes live later this week in all Riot regions. Our hope is that accepting a friend request becomes something that inspires joy and excitement rather than something that you do with snipping tool open.

[Matthias Schmidt @eurofounder]

My 16 year old daughter went out on Friday and didn’t come home until today

Her dress was ripped and she smelled like cheap vodka

“Where the fuck have you been?!” my wife was crying

“I’m sorry, my phone died and Hassan said I should sleep over…”

“Hassan?! Your 43 year old driving instructor?!” my wife screamed

“Yes, but he got me an Uber in the morning…”

It was absolutely disgusting

How could she get into an unlicensed taxi?

This could have ended terribly. She could have been hit with surge pricing and paid €13 for what should be an €8 ride

I filed the complaint with the EU transport authority before she sobered up

I hope my daughter will never make this mistake again

[kong ming @Ultimalope]

On oublie pas de report la page Ko-Fi bien évidemment 😊😌

[Smitty🥇 @Smitty_xyz]

Ok listen to me VERY carefully

1. You visit her one last time "to pick up your stuff"

2. You apologize to her parents that it didn't work out

3. You tell each parent what you learned from them and that you'll carry it with you for the rest of your life

4. They get a bittersweet feeling and will miss you

5. You make sure to remember their birthdays and send them a message on other holidays to make them never forget you

6. You are now the ex they'll compare every future boyfriend to

7. The expectations and the pressure will slow cook her subconsciously. She'll only bring bad options home.

8. They'll nag at her. "Leon was a good guy and you let him go" they'll say, sabotaging her future relationships further and slowly making her resent her parents

9. Her parents will start texting you, saying you were the best she ever brought home and that they'll miss you.

10. You say you're sorry, you really tried your best...but it takes two to make a relationship work

11. They start pressuring her to try again. She will decline at first.

12. After 10 more failed relationships and increased pressure from her parents, she gives in. She agrees to meet you once more.

13. You meet with her as a friend. You enjoy your meeting. You remind her of the good times you've had together. She starts to think "Maybe it just wasn't the right time"

14. She opens up to you, gives you another chance. You meet her a few times. Nothing happens. You are friendly but you keep your distance.

15. She finally falls in love with you. That's when you tell her you only view her as a friend and you can't stand her weird hairline. You leave and never look back

FIN

[kong ming @Ultimalope]

Normalize buying rocketbelt on AD champs 🙏

[Mido @LoLMidorima]

Playing immobile ADC vs Bard Ult? Yone Ult?

I present to you: Hextech Rocketbelt tech:

[kong ming @Ultimalope]

@ACCN151005 Tous nos homies détestent les assassins

[kong ming @Ultimalope]

💀

[niv @nivoraslol]

Why get fucked by one person when I can get railed by 9 at the same time?

[kong ming @Ultimalope]

Je vais plus pouvoir mispose comme un fdp sans regarder ma map et proc Phase Rush avec Garen pour me barrer en mode prince sans conséquences 😭😭😭
Quelle journée terrible pour être né

[Chreak @Chreak_Lol]

Résumé de la Saison 2 de League of Legends :

- ZQSD en ranked avec un MILLIARD de modifications et de réglages supplémentaire ☠️

- Les quetes de rôles top et Mid sont modifiés, Top tu gagneras plus d'expérience en teamfight et pour la midlane, le back amélioré est remplacé par un bonus de 6% d'AD et d'AP. 👨‍🦽

- Phase rush est SUPPRIMÉ du JEU, à la place vous avez le retour de l'ancienne rune de saison 6 Assault du Maraudeur, et une nouvelle rune Toucher de feu mortel. 🚮

- Modifications de certains items comme Aube et
Crépuscule, nouveaux items de départs et des BOTTES d'OMNIVAMPIRISME oui oui t'as bien entendu, et le sac de l'explorateur ainsi qu'opportunité sont supprimée du jeu ❓

- Le prochain champion est un ASSASSIN AP midlane, j'm'occuperai de ça vous inquiétez pas. 🤫

- Arena a une ENORME mise à jour avec 3 nouveaux modes de jeu et pleins d'ajouts. 🔅

- Une game avec un grieffer pourra être abandonné avec un vote et l'équipe perdante ne perdra aucun lp, le grieffer perdra tout et sera ban, l'équipe gagnante gagnera ses LP

- Les prochains skins préstiges seront pour Shaco et Leblanc, puis Veigar en Saison 3

- Et enfin ya l'intégration de lol à Discord pour faciliter le social.

Ma vidéo est dispo sur Youtube si vous voulez les détails en image et plus d'explications !!

[癒される動物 @cutest_animal1]

お気に入りの場所

[kong ming @Ultimalope]

Hot Take: la manière d'enseigner de Gaetan on aime ou on aime pas. Perso ça m'a bien remis à ma place et m'a permis de full focus sur les fondamentaux et d'éviter les ego plays de merde. Je trouve quand tu démarres le jeu c'est vraiment de très bons enseignements. Goat Gaetan 🐐

[ʚ ┆ellim @ellimiki]

mon ami, tu es gold 4, qu'est ce qui te laisse penser que tu as le niveau pour être émeraude ? mon ami réfléchis cinq minutes, as-tu les fondamentaux nécessaires ?

[Tony Chau @SaskioLoL]

The talking stage with a girl is like laning against a new opponent in League of Legends

you load into lane. no data. no opgg. no idea what this person is capable of

level 1 you're just farming

small talk. surface level. "what do you do" "where are you from"
you're not actually listening for the answers
you're watching HOW they answer

fast reply? aggressive player. trades back immediately. likes short trades.

slow reply? freezing the wave towards them. controlling tempo. making YOU walk up.

long message with questions? 3 wave crashing into you. she WANTS interaction.

level 3 you start testing

you throw out something slightly personal. not a full combo. just a Q to see if it lands.

if she trades back? the lane is active. keep going.

if she backs off? she's not ready. paly the wave. try again later.

now you're tracking cooldowns

how long between texts. does she double message. does she leave you on read then come back.

does she initiate or wait for you to walk up every single time.

you're reading every movement for intent

she randomly goes cold? enemy jungler opposite side, play aggressive

she suddenly gets warmer? her jungler is nearby. play safe or accept the 1 v 2

then there's the moment every laner knows

the all in window happens

something shifts. she says something real. drops the act.

shows you what's underneath the trading sequences.

this is the moment you pull the trigger or you don't

and if you don't?

the window closes. the wave resets.

and you go back to farming safely waiting for summoners wondering what would have happened

but if you DO

the lane is never the same, you lose all priority

that first all in changes everything.

the spacing is different. the energy is different. you both know something now.

every interaction after is built on that one commit

some players farm the entire laning phase. never trade. never all in. never take the risk.

and they wonder why they're stuck in the same elo forever

the talking stage isn't about being smooth

it's about reading your lane opponent well enough to know the EXACT moment to go all in

and not being a pussy when the window opens

Study the Saskio way

[kong ming @Ultimalope]

At this point just play ADOFAI bro 💀

[CatiReel @catireel_]

this sync is so satisfying

[xPetu @xPetu]

> be me
> be 16
> play league of legends every day after school
> hardstuck low master
> shen gets reworked
> try him out
> win every game
> roleswap from jungle to top lane to play shen
> reach challenger instantly
> friends say it doesnt count because EUNE
> transfer to EUW
> hardstuck low master again
> go to military
> play on laptop during weekends
> reach challenger on EUW
> friends say it doesnt count because my shen is freelo toplaner
> try to hit rank 1
> fail and give up
> go to university to study mathematics
> take a course on optimization
> code an algorithm to find the best shen build based on damage calculations
> complexity is O(n!)
> realize this problem is difficult
> take all optimization courses uni has to offer
> study machine learning
> study deep learning
> meet a Vayne main whos doing a phd in robotics
> watch him demo his custom algorithm that plays League
> team up to solve the build optimization problem
> spend a year trying different ideas
> finally get a good idea
> write masters thesis on league of legends build optimization
> realize we need more data to get better results
> you need a consumer application to get more data from Riot
> try to build an app
> realize neither of us can code websites
> find an Olaf main who rebuilt opgg for himself just for fun
> add him to the team
> build working app
> get more data from Riot
> realize shen jungle is viable with the right build
> roleswap back to jungle after 10 years of top lane
> spam shen jungle with optimized build
> make youtube video on it
> shen becomes the highest win rate jungler
> mfw

[drtk @dratiko7]

A partir d'aujourd'hui je recommence à onetrick Draven 💕
Par conséquent je reprends aussi :
Le racisme 💥
La mysoginie 🌸
Les anger issues ✨
A écouter des musiques inaudibles 🎵
Le caffeinemaxxing 🥺
Speedrun honor 0📉
PSEUDO EN FULL CAPSLOCK 💋

[blair @quelquesoit]

le vocal avec garen, karthus, kassadin, draven et zilean dans l’équipe

[Tony Chau @SaskioLoL]

my therapist said i need to find healthy coping mechanisms for everything i've been through recently

so now i play 15 league games a day instead of 8

she said "find something that makes you feel in control"

lady i am FREEZING waves at 4 am with tears rolling down my face.

i have never felt more in control in my life.

she said "try journaling your emotions"

i AM journaling. every game is an entry. 3/17 yasuo mid? that's a rough game.

14/2 renekton top? that's a top gap.

my opgg is my emotional diary and it's more honest than anything i could write in a notebook

she said "are you sleeping?"

sleep is for people who don't have LP to recover

she said "are you eating?"

i ate a cold pizza at 2 am between a loss streak and a win streak does that count

she said "this isn't what i meant by coping"

but here's the thing doc

for the first time in weeks i'm not thinking about what happened

i'm thinking about spacing not spiraling

i'm thinking about my next game not my last mistake

you call it unhealthy

i call it the only thing keeping the lights on upstairs

15 games a day

zero time to feel sorry for myself

the grind doesn't heal you

but it keeps you busy enough to let the healing happen on its own

Study the Saskio way

[STREY @Streyito]

J'ai été rank 1 Garen World, 5000 games sur le champion sur 5 ans, et à mon prime j'ai peak Challenger 1250 LP

2 mois après avoir lâché le champion pour Zaahen, j'ai peak Challenger 1800 LP, top 25 du ladder

Les hommes mentent, pas les chiffres my CEO...