Uncute Mama

dude, where’s my pregnancy glow?!

[Uncute Mama @UncuteMama]

I Overate: a memoir.

[Uncute Mama @UncuteMama]

The Trump fans obsessed with “sheeple” and “liberal fake news” are the same people reposting whack-ass conspiracy theories without any level of fact-checking. And they don’t even see the irony.

[Uncute Mama @UncuteMama]

I’m can’t-reach-my-feet-so-husband-puts-on-my-socks-and-shoes-now weeks pregnant.

[Uncute Mama @UncuteMama]

Sorry, I can’t come in to work today my dog fell asleep with his head on my foot so I hope you understand.

[Uncute Mama @UncuteMama]

👏 time for my afternoon cupcake

[Uncute Mama @UncuteMama]

I’m feels-the-need-to-pee-while-washing-my-hands-after-peeing weeks pregnant

[Uncute Mama @UncuteMama]

Is it too early to break into the Halloween candy we bought yesterday?

[Uncute Mama @UncuteMama]

Husband: how many cookies do you want?
Me: just 1
Husband: I’m going to give you 2, okay?
#Keeper

[Uncute Mama @UncuteMama]

A forest fire that burns down 7000 acres for a gender reveal and I STILL DON’T KNOW THE GENDER?! #eldoradofire

[Amom @anxiouscougar]

Marry someone who protects your naps.

[SHART FACTORY @Shart_Factory]

You know those people that tell you just avoid that $5 latte each day and you’d be saving so much money? Well, it only took COVID for me to finally try it out and it works! I’ve already saved about $23,000 so far this year. Gonna save it so I can buy two cups a day in 2021.

[Mommy Uncensored @amomuncensored]

Every time I tell my daughter I love her, she responds with, “I love daddy,” which is toddler speak for go fuck yourself, mama. Hashtag blessed.

[Uncute Mama @UncuteMama]

The heartburn is chronic, but these second trimester tits are iconic

[Sooz @CruisinSoozan]

To all my friends that DM me recipes: Thanks for the boners.

[Uncute Mama @UncuteMama]

Get a man who texts you things like: “Let’s go to house of pies and get one for dessert tonight”

[Uncute Mama @UncuteMama]

My MIL read a children’s book to my baby belly this weekend and I’m still emotional about it 😭💗🥺

[Uncute Mama @UncuteMama]

Time for my daily cupcake! 🧁

[Uncute Mama @UncuteMama]

I’m curious how many moms actually went back to pants with a button and zipper after pregnancy because these elastic waist jeans are The Best Thing

[Uncute Mama @UncuteMama]

Houston, we have an outie.

[Dad and Disorderly @dadanddisorderl]

Sometimes I wish my name was Brad so I could wear a “Brad to the Bone” shirt and mean it.