What the Pepper Says

The girls are back in town 🦄

[What the Pepper Says @UnicornMomTalk]

"Sometimes when I see you...my wiener tingles. I just thought you'd like to know that"

[What the Pepper Says @UnicornMomTalk]

He banged me to the rhythm of Mr. Brightside and I think I fell in love

[What the Pepper Says @UnicornMomTalk]

"Your relationship is the equivalent of a soggy ham sandwich"

[What the Pepper Says @UnicornMomTalk]

Can relate https://t.co/7Tyoz413AB

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

(570): I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.

[What the Pepper Says @UnicornMomTalk]

You guys seem to have a higher sex drive...you're on rabbit mode while she's on turtle 🐢 🐇

[What the Pepper Says @UnicornMomTalk]

3/3 #HAPPYNEWYEAR

[What the Pepper Says @UnicornMomTalk]

2/3 of the unicorn moms already got it in today...working on the 3rd as we speak

[What the Pepper Says @UnicornMomTalk]

Did I ever tell you I banged on the roof of OTs? #keepitcasual

[What the Pepper Says @UnicornMomTalk]

I need a dick. One that doesn't have an eye the size of a golf ball and actually doesn't mind my presence

[What the Pepper Says @UnicornMomTalk]

I'm sorry... I got high and forgot to do anything but eat 😞

[What the Pepper Says @UnicornMomTalk]

I shaved for nothing the last 4 weekends... that pisses me right off

[What the Pepper Says @UnicornMomTalk]

Ok. Fuuuuuck I wanna bang and I don't know how I feel about randos...

[What the Pepper Says @UnicornMomTalk]

"Never did I ever think I would have to give advice on homewrecking"
-Parker

[What the Pepper Says @UnicornMomTalk]

I made poor decisions last night. I'm finally the other woman. I slipped??

[What the Pepper Says @UnicornMomTalk]

Definitely has a splash of gay

[What the Pepper Says @UnicornMomTalk]

I don't know they need to invest in a penis pump though

[What the Pepper Says @UnicornMomTalk]

"I'll bring the tequila"

"I'll bring the bad decision making skills"

[What the Pepper Says @UnicornMomTalk]

Like how do I say I'm horny af and you don't help me fix that so you gotta go?

[What the Pepper Says @UnicornMomTalk]

"You know what's scary? My sex drive. I need to bang something soon"

"Just bang your coworker who is supposed to be engaged soon, swag"