Unstoppable Failure

[TipTonight: Simple, Fast, Secure Online Tipping ✨ @TipTonight]

@UnstoppableFail makes clear the benefits of @TipTonight for creators on social media! Nice work boys! #getpaid #Tips2019 #PayUpHollywood

[Unstoppable Failure @UnstoppableFail]

You know it must be special if we're actually using our twitter account

[Bad Medicine Sketch Comedy @BadMedicineDC]

Ah snap, it's Wednesday! Episode 38 features brothers AJ Schraeder and AL Schraeder of @UnstoppableFail. We chat about "Good Grief, the Comedian's a Bear“ by The Muppet Show. Listen on SoundCloud: https://t.co/39ZdN1YOyi #podcast #comedy #themuppets #puppets #sketchcomedy

[Unstoppable Failure @UnstoppableFail]

Without a smartphone I'd finally get around to helping my buddy George finish the last two books in his epic fantasy series. #contest #nosmartphoneforayear

[Unstoppable Failure @UnstoppableFail]

@vitaminwater If I gave up my smart phone I'd use the time to get back to my quest of tracking down the six fingered man who killed my father.
#nophoneforayear
#contest #PreparedToLetMyBatteryDie

[Unstoppable Failure @UnstoppableFail]

Proof from the future that without a smart phone I'd watch just as many Golden Girls Reruns but also get abs that are definitely not just poorly photoshopped on. #nophoneforayear #contest

[Unstoppable Failure @UnstoppableFail]

We're averaging 5 tweets a year. #prolific

[Unstoppable Failure @UnstoppableFail]

Coworker replies 2 email u need specific responses 2 w "looks fine." Q: not if he cares, but if u care he doesn't. A: "sounds great."

[Unstoppable Failure @UnstoppableFail]

Boston researchers find marijuana use causes brain abnormalities. Doctors Clavin, Peterson, and Malone suggest switching to beer.

[Unstoppable Failure @UnstoppableFail]

Microsoft has ceased providing support for Windows XP.
XP limit has been reached.

[Unstoppable Failure @UnstoppableFail]

Having teeth is like having 32 dice in your mouth making saving throws whenever you use them. Dentistry's a solid racket.

[Unstoppable Failure @UnstoppableFail]

3 Secret Service agents have been sent home for drunkenness from their Senior class trip to the #Hague.

[Unstoppable Failure @UnstoppableFail]

#G8 members to discuss ongoing Russia/Crimea crisis. #Russia not invited, makes plans for a solo career.

[Unstoppable Failure @UnstoppableFail]

Russia is moving forward with plans to annex Crimea, despite the West’s threat to force Kanye West to move there. #Crimea #Kanye

[Unstoppable Failure @UnstoppableFail]

Sbarro plans to close 155 stores. Heat lamps will stay on until someone orders the last slice of breakfast pizza...soo there's time. #Sbarro

[Unstoppable Failure @UnstoppableFail]

EU offers $15 billion to Ukraine's economy: only $30 billion shy of what lonely strangers have offered to its webcam models. #Ukraine

[Unstoppable Failure @UnstoppableFail]

Obama seeks $300 b to save the nation's transportation infrastructure. Republicans seek to hire Doc Brown as new spokesman. #Roads? #2015

[Unstoppable Failure @UnstoppableFail]

US warns Russia not to intervene in Ukraine. Russia counters they weren't, and if they don't it's not because US said so. US smiles smugly.

[Unstoppable Failure @UnstoppableFail]

This is spot on - Why We Do What We Do by Sarah Shockey http://t.co/Iq9hvaLjsu

[Unstoppable Failure @UnstoppableFail]

Obama apologizes for mocking Art History majors, cutting short a potentially prolific Blue Period. #arthistory #Obama

[Unstoppable Failure @UnstoppableFail]

Giant octopus tries to rip camera from hands of a diver in California. Celebrities caution mollusk: “that’s just what they want you to do.”