Kitsuragi Malt

i be wakin up no missed calls

[wiLL @willfulchaos]

just saw someone at the grocery store ask chatgpt which aisle the pasta is on

[Roy Drones Jr @chiweethedog]

not might. this IS the top tweet of 2026

[Rocky @viperwave]

I really wish Marathon was 10 hours long and I could finish it and talk about it with other people and not this giant expanding oil slick like every other videogame where the developers are just being beheaded every week.

[spongebobham2billion @spongebobhamtwo]

I don't tinkle— I piss. Hard.

[Paris @goodyhilton]

A lot of mental health issues can be solved by isolating and lashing out at people

[Clarence Thomas the Tank Engine @TheRealJChubby]

This shit is so fake man.

[Stavros Halkias @stavvybaby]

Pedophiles and private equity have ruined America and, more importantly, the New York Knicks home court advantage

[NOT Potato Bolshevik @NotPotBol]

I have come to love and respect this once I learned this was there as a way to fraud Microsoft.

[ً @NotJosephGarcia]

These are the qualities you should consider when choosing your next dentist.

[Mr. Chau @Srirachachau]

Not gonna defend it but personally filing it under elder abuse for my own peace of mind

[yoshimi battles video game addiction @nise_yoshimi]

kind of shit chairman mao was saying when zhou enlai asked him about the economy or whatever

[connor @ConnorEatsPants]

Sources telling me that Charlie will soon be stable

[The Sinister Gringo @connecticut_guy]

Peak fiction

[larry davids mistress @b1gdumb1diott]

JUUL was the Saddam Hussein of the vape industry

[#1 Dredgen Bael Defender @destiny_thememe]

𓀀 𓀁 𓆶 𓆷 𓀃 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆 𓀇 𓆊 𓆋 𓆌 𓆍 𓀋 𓀌 𓀍 𓀎 𓀏 𓀐 𓀑 𓀒 𓀓 𓀔 𓀕 𓀖𓀗 𓀘 𓇁 𓇂 𓇇 𓀚 𓀛 𓀜 𓀝 𓇃 𓇄 𓇅 𓇆 𓀼 PETE PARSONS𓀽 𓀾 𓀿 𓁀 𓁁 𓁂 𓁃 𓁄 𓁅𓁆 𓁇 𓁈 𓁉 𓁊 𓁋 𓁌 𓁍 𓁎 𓁏 𓁐 𓁑 𓁒 𓁓 𓁔𓁕 𓁖 𓁗 𓁘 𓁙 𓁚 𓁛𓁝 𓅳 𓅴 𓅵 𓅶 𓅷 𓅸 𓅹 𓅺 𓅻 𓅼 𓅽 𓅾 𓅿 𓆀 𓆁 𓆂 𓆃 :

[aria 🍓 @ariadotwav]

oh my fucking god bruh

[Izzat Hayes @AnimeSerbia]

this tweet is going to be so fun to retweet when hes long out of the cultural zeitgeist as a way to play remember when