Morey the Unimpeachable

Professional writer. Unprofessional musician. Man of many hats, literally and figuratively.

[Morey the Unimpeachable @VelvetKnight]

@lyft why is it impossible to get actual help on your website?

I had a driver accept a ride while waiting in a drive-thru, which never should have happened (it took several minutes for her to move from the red box from pic). How do you justify a cancelation fee for this?

[Morey the Unimpeachable @VelvetKnight]

Now that they've shot the bird, shouldn't this button be changed to "Xcrement" in order to fit the new brand?

#welcometox

[Morey the Unimpeachable @VelvetKnight]

Panthers are in the Stanley Cup this year after beating Boston, the team with the best record in history, and sweeping the Canes.

Maybe it was the song.
#TimeToHunt @FlaPanthers

[Jimmy Eat World @jimmyeatworld]

If you’re scoring the most goals of any team in the NHL and you don’t win the cup maybe the problem isn’t your goal song? But hey if it’s not broke feel free to fix it.

[Morey the Unimpeachable @VelvetKnight]

@traceylindeman I can never decide if this is the worst or the greatest song I've ever heard. For reals.

https://t.co/lWEcgOqJCk

[Morey the Unimpeachable @VelvetKnight]

I made a thing. @FlaPanthers @HeyRedDeer #TimeToHunt #CoronaryCats

[Morey the Unimpeachable @VelvetKnight]

@lenibriscoe And probably 9 minutes by bicycle.

[Morey the Unimpeachable @VelvetKnight]

@CatherineBogart @ScoutingTheRefs Those guys were amazing. The nonstop "sportsmanship!" and "R-E-F-S refs refs refs!" chance were the best part of the game (or at least the first 2 periods 😉 ). You didn't happen to get any video did you? I tried on my phone, but I was too far for a decent shot.

[Morey the Unimpeachable @VelvetKnight]

@MJMcKean Same way they railed against, and tried to block, Obama’s stimulus—and then took credit for the money it brought their states.

(And will do the same if Biden’s infrastructure plan passes.)

[Morey the Unimpeachable @VelvetKnight]

@BrianYoung @LOLGOP There’s a difference, but I can’t qwhite put my finger on it. 🤔

[Morey the Unimpeachable @VelvetKnight]

@OhNoSheTwitnt What’s the over/under on number of times he described himself as, “The good man with a gun?”

[Morey the Unimpeachable @VelvetKnight]

@straczynski I’ve always wondered why the translation on the bottom of this sign looks suspiciously like Vorlon…

[Morey the Unimpeachable @VelvetKnight]

@straczynski Christianity isn’t even the first Abrahamic religion to talk about self-sacrifice. 🤦‍♂️

[Morey the Unimpeachable @VelvetKnight]

@DavidDwork I did that at the Heat game in Barclays Center a couple of weeks ago. 😂

[Morey the Unimpeachable @VelvetKnight]

Liquor store clerk: I’m gonna need to see some age verification.

Me: You got a pay phone I can use?

[FilmBuffRich @FilmBuffRich]

Liquor store clerk: I’m gonna need to see some age verification.

Me: This is not the first time I have seen a movie called DUNE in the theaters.

[Morey the Unimpeachable @VelvetKnight]

@DavidDwork In honor of @DwyaneWade obviously.

[Muppet Wiki ✪ @MuppetWiki]

Big Bird gets vaccinated, 1972

[Morey the Unimpeachable @VelvetKnight]

@koreydub @GregBalloch @PeteBlackburn Here’s the rule.Lomberg going in a straight line and touching the puck first while the goalie coming WAY OUT directly into his path sounds like “incidental contact” to me. And he definitely made every effort to stop.

A 2 min is iffy. Major+misconduct is BS.

[Morey the Unimpeachable @VelvetKnight]

I’m loving the flood of non-Panthers fans coming out to say this. Shows it’s not just the homers like me!

[Detroit Sports Szn @DetSportsSZN]

HOW is that Lombergs fault?

[Morey the Unimpeachable @VelvetKnight]

What a crap call.
-Lomberg is going in a straight line starting from the #Panthers’ blue line
-Raanta comes all the way out past the face off dot—directly into his path!
-Lomberg makes every effort to stop

I can MAYBE see 2min (but not really).
But a major+game? F- outa here!

[Sportsnet @Sportsnet]

Antti Raanta left tonight's game after this collision with Ryan Lomberg.

Lomberg received a five-minute major and a game misconduct.

[Morey the Unimpeachable @VelvetKnight]

@5ReasonsSports *Waves in Florida Panthers*