Akshay Venkatesh

joined to get football jokes faster than I do on facebook

[Akshay Venkatesh @VenkmanHimself]

@ltarsenal To be clear, I think Saka is a better player right now than Sancho, but I think when Sancho does find his feet, you're in for a shock. He's a phenomenal player, and while he has less time on the ball in the prem than in the bundesliga, he'll adapt soon enough.

[Akshay Venkatesh @VenkmanHimself]

I don't like you, Goblin man. Get Jadon German citizenship.

[England @England]

Team news is in... 📝

Here's how the #ThreeLions line up for tonight's clash with Czech Republic at @wembleystadium:

[Akshay Venkatesh @VenkmanHimself]

Uh huh. But we can't light a stadium up to include them, surely it's a political stance to be decent to people?

[UEFA @UEFA]

@_Jack_Wad_ Unfortunately Jack, there are still lots of people, and many within the LGBTQ community, who don’t feel included or welcome within football. We think it’s important to remind them that they absolutely are. This is everyone’s game.

[Akshay Venkatesh @VenkmanHimself]

What a brilliant initiative!

[Stefan Bienkowski @SBienkowski]

From next season Borussia Dortmund season ticket holders will be able to use their matchday ticket for free train travel throughout the entire state of North Rhine-Westphalia.

Distance wise that's like an Arsenal fan getting a train from Manchester to London for free.

[Akshay Venkatesh @VenkmanHimself]

"Oh you don't need a striker to score goals pep has it all figured out." Take your inverted full backs and holding wingers and shove it.

[Akshay Venkatesh @VenkmanHimself]

Winning the treble isn't for everyone. #BaldFraud

[Akshay Venkatesh @VenkmanHimself]

@AdiDokania I know Liverpool have had a bad season, but surely Salah over Foden is a no brainer? I wonder what they were thinking - maybe recency bias? Son over rashford also fairly obvious one

[Gary Neville @GNev2]

To The Super League 🥂

[Akshay Venkatesh @VenkmanHimself]

You love to see it!

[Leeds United @LUFC]

FULL TIME: #LUFC hold Super League side Merseyside Reds to a 1-1 draw after late Llorente equaliser

[Mark Ogden @MarkOgden_]

One stand-out quote from the ESL press release is Joel Glazer talking about a ‘new chapter of world-class facilities.’ Ask Man Utd fans about the improvements (or lack of) made to Old Trafford since Glazer takeover in 2005..

[Akshay Venkatesh @VenkmanHimself]

@FatCantona @marcloboda Whatever his faults, he was a principled man and a class act. #Lvgin lol

[Akshay Venkatesh @VenkmanHimself]

PROUD TO SUPPORT THIS CLUB :')

[Fabrizio Romano @FabrizioRomano]

Official: Borussia Dortmund have just announced that they’re *not* joining the #SuperLeague. 🟡⚫️ #BVB

“The clubs wants to implement the planned reform of the UEFA Champions League. The plans to found a Super League have been rejected”, BVB CEO Watzke said.

[Sky Sports Premier League @SkySportsPL]

"This is disowning your own club stuff." 🚮

@GNev2 hits out at the six clubs linked with a Super League breakaway and says they should be 'punished heavily' by the Premier League and English governing bodies.

[Akshay Venkatesh @VenkmanHimself]

Paid for with oil money.

[BVB Buzz @BVBBuzz]

"Foul"

[Akshay Venkatesh @VenkmanHimself]

@StefanBuczko I swear! Why are more people not talking about the shocking decisions - especially Reus penalty and foul on Can in the build-up to their third?!

[Stefan Buczko @StefanBuczko]

Bayern’s MotM

[Akshay Venkatesh @VenkmanHimself]

@MohanSrivats Haaland ain't signing for City fosho lol. But he's one of those signings that can't fail tbh. Generational talent.

[Akshay Venkatesh @VenkmanHimself]

You really forget how the world was before it became two teams screaming at each other from opposite sides.

[Dr. Jennifer Cassidy @OxfordDiplomat]

John McCain’s concession speech from the 2008 election. Listen when the crowd “boos” Obama, he says stop and settles them. America, you are unrecognisable.
#ElectionResults2020

[Akshay Venkatesh @VenkmanHimself]

Gotta love Lineker

[Gary Lineker @GaryLineker]

They’re probably votes for Biden as he was one of the candidates. That’s sort of how elections work, I think.

[Akshay Venkatesh @VenkmanHimself]

What a class act!

[MR @MarcusRashford]

Time we worked together.