Vusani

[Vusani @VusaniG]

@Caswell1000 @IECSouthAfrica Why the address? Wrong addresses on the roll?

[Sunday Times @SundayTimesZA]

WATCH | Eskom chair Mteto Nyati says he made a mistake when he told the president that the leadership under former CEO André de Ruyter was fine, describing a dysfunctional environment. Watch the full episode here: https://t.co/HNV0Zd43yN

[Vusani @VusaniG]

@TheRealLZK Khuzeka maan

[Vusani @VusaniG]

@TheRealLZK We now have a reason...🤭

[Vusani @VusaniG]

@TheRealLZK In the first 25 mins yes

[Vusani @VusaniG]

@TheRealLZK Clown 😂

[Vusani @VusaniG]

@KaizerChiefs Coach Mzoughi...a passionate Khosi that man! Farewell coach and best wishes for the future

[Vusani @VusaniG]

@LeonardMasilela I doubt he would. He is a spook, hoaxes are par for the course in that line of business.

[Vusani @VusaniG]

Ndi madekwana Vho @CyrilRamaphosa @PresidencyZA, any chance that you could do a midnight dismissal of Ministers Tolashe and Mchunu? Some things just don't need any further deliberation at all. Disciplinary and law enforcement processes may and can follow later. #SAinDisrepute

[Lily Jay @lilyjayofficial]

How can we trust history.. when the present is being manipulated right in front of our eyes? 🤔

[Vusani @VusaniG]

🤎 & ✌🏾

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Mahir 🇹🇷🇬🇧 @ScrewderiaF1]

Goodbye, you piece of sh*t

[The Presidency 🇿🇦 @PresidencyZA]

WELCOME TO SOUTH AFRICA 🇿🇦

#G20SouthAfrica 🇿🇦
#BetterAfricaBetterWorld 🌍

[JSE_SENS @JSE_SENS]

VOD Please Call Me Matter https://t.co/HHRXGriioT

[Vusani @VusaniG]

Good Day @Eskom_SA . There was a promise that Ref: 1024750571 would be resolved today but still no resolution. Nearly a week now and your Bot Alfred is unhelpful

[Mteto Nyati @mteton]

https://t.co/BQmdZSiCLn

[Vusani @VusaniG]

@sengo_g 😅