Venezuelan Seinfeld

An account about nothing because socialism took it all away.

[Venezuelan Seinfeld @VzlanSeinfeld]

The cat is out of el bolsito tricolor!

[Cine Millonario @cinemillonario]

Además tuvimos una revelación inesperada aprovechando la visita de Raúl y su relación con @CaracasChron.

[Venezuelan Seinfeld @VzlanSeinfeld]

- It's a bodegón where you launder your own money! We give you los dólares, un contrato, un testaferro...you launder it through the CLAP and we even make you a diplomat! Sounds good, huh?

[Venezuelan Seinfeld @VzlanSeinfeld]

@Andresereno @FriendsTV

[Venezuelan Seinfeld @VzlanSeinfeld]

-There’s no soap OR water Kramer, what do we do?
-Sabila, ajo, agua e’ mango, and two ramazos de ruda en el pecho Jerry!

[Venezuelan Seinfeld @VzlanSeinfeld]

@MPoetisa @ViendoSEINFELD

[Cine Millonario @cinemillonario]

Un adelanto de lo que será la primera temporada de su Cine Millonario - El Podcast.

[Venezuelan Seinfeld @VzlanSeinfeld]

- C'mon Elaine, róbate ese marido.
-Well if you want it, you get it.
-Sorry Elaine, thou shalt not steal.
-Oh, but it's ok for me?
-What do you care? You’re VENECA, you know where you're going.
-Alright, that is it! I can't live like this!

[Venezuelan Seinfeld @VzlanSeinfeld]

- Elaine I feel I must inform you that what happened last
night was more than a simple bet.
- What are you talking about Jerry?
- Come on! "Maduro is president"! He made a bet he knew he was
going to lose just to take you to dinner!

[Venezuelan Seinfeld @VzlanSeinfeld]

-You’re sure you’re not angry about yesterday?
-I’m ok as long as you don’t ever do it again
-So I have to choose between seeing you and decir MADURO COÑO E TU MADRE en público?
-That’s right
-I can do that
-So what’s your decision?
-I don’t know.

[Venezuelan Seinfeld @VzlanSeinfeld]

- Uhm, The thing about a president like Guaidó, Elaine, is you want to get some black and some white. Nothing mixes better than vanilla and chocolate. And yet somehow racial harmony eludes us. If people would only look to Guaidó all our problems would be solved.

[Venezuelan Seinfeld @VzlanSeinfeld]

-I heard un voice por whatsapp. Los marines están en Cúcuta Jerry!
-No vale, yo no creo. You're crazy Kramer.
-Am I? Or am I SO sane that you just blew your mind??
-It can't be.
-Can't it? Or is your entire world just crashing down around you?!

[Venezuelan Seinfeld @VzlanSeinfeld]

- Guaidó is president????! I feel like I got a B12 shot! This is like a democracia explosion Kramer!
- I told you.
- What is it George?
- I think it moved. Oh my god, I think it moved. I'll see you later. I’m back baby!! It’s back!!!

[Venezuelan Seinfeld @VzlanSeinfeld]

- I went out to buy Pernil. I reached for the last one, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way!
- What happened to the Pernil Frank?
- It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. A FESTIVUS FOR THE REST-OF-US!

[Venezuelan Seinfeld @VzlanSeinfeld]

@AmapolaWellie

[Venezuelan Seinfeld @VzlanSeinfeld]

- Oh my god, George?!
- Listen Sheila it's not what you think! I went to EXPOSEXO just to have a look! I put my trust into the wrong person. He said the key word was tasteful!

[Venezuelan Seinfeld @VzlanSeinfeld]

-You went out with a Pran?
-Yes, well, an ex-Pran now
-Wow
-What was his name?
-Um, his name was uh...Eduardo..El Corroncho
-Where did you meet him?
-Well..I met him in Tocorón, and he was fighting uh, is
that the word they use? Fighting? Because they don't really fight the
PNB

[Venezuelan Seinfeld @VzlanSeinfeld]

- But you're blind as a bat!
- I was squinting! Remember that drive from Higuerote? I was spotting those rabipelaos.
- They were lateros, you idiot. I didn't have the heart to tell you.

[Venezuelan Seinfeld @VzlanSeinfeld]

@gonzalosenabre

[Venezuelan Seinfeld @VzlanSeinfeld]

-Lemme get this straight: you are in Chacao, you see Migas and think to yourself "What the hell I'll just eat some trash"
-No no. It wasn't trash!
-Was it in the trash?
-Yes
-Was it eaten?
-One little bite
-Well George, you have crossed the line that divides Hombre y Hombre nuevo

[Venezuelan Seinfeld @VzlanSeinfeld]

- Let me ask you a question. If you named a kid Diosdado do you think that would have a negative effect on his life?

[Venezuelan Seinfeld @VzlanSeinfeld]

-This friend of mine, went to Madrid
-How wonderful
-For some reason, I just find myself just overcome with jealousy and resentment
-Doesn't it give you any joy to see your friend enter into Madrid and find a job?
-It doesn't. No joy whatsoever. The whole thing makes me . . sick