Pengabdi Sate

A Minah Kajang.

[Pengabdi Sate @WaniIbrahim]

RIP Babyteh. There will always be a place for you in my heart.

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Same_Sarikei @Same_Sarikei]

The elite always have expensive jobs. And always sponsored by the Rakyat.

[Iqbal Cilisos @Iqtodabal]

What does Tengku Zafrul have on all of them?

[Pengabdi Sate @WaniIbrahim]

Top 5 Spotify Wrapped ada 3 lagu raya 😭

[The Edge Malaysia @theedgemalaysia]

7 years in the making: Najib’s 1MDB-Tanore trial nears end

After years in court, the High Court will deliver its verdict on Dec 26 — deciding if former PM Datuk Seri Najib Razak is guilty of abuse of power and money laundering involving RM2.2 billion from 1MDB.

[Romy Jarr @romyjarr]

This naturalization scandal is even more embarrassing than the 1990s match-fixing scandal and the 1MDB scandal bcoz it is so easy to understand, so easy to digest, and it attacks the national pride directly.

In the 1990s match-fixing scandal, many players were arrested, dibuang negeri/daerah, some were banned for life, but the shame was mainly inside local Malaysian football and did not involve national identity or citizenship. The embarrassment of the 90s match-fixing scandal in the M-League was limited to the soccer world only.

For 1MDB, it involved billions of ringgit as the scandal became global news, but it also involved complicated finance terms & jargons that many found unappealing to follow. To many, the 1MDB scandal required some level of finance-related educated knowledge in order to comprehend and appreciate how bad it was.

...But this football naturalization case is a different level. Bcoz football is loved by all walks of life, when the national team is linked to cheating, weak checks, fake eligibility, and where the country's laws can actually be toyed with (if needed)...the embarrassment is felt very strongly and immediately. Very easy for everyone on the street to digest how pathetic it is.

[🏴 Dapur Jalanan Kuala Lumpur 🏴 @DapurJalanan]

2 malam berturut-turut kami hadir ke sambutan Sedekad Buku Jalanan Chow Kit, sakit hati melihat diseberang berbondong-bondong bas bawa pelajar buat agihan makanan. Sekor pun tak pakai otak menilai keperluan, hanya sakan demi bergambar dan merasakan diri mulia konon dah memberi

[👾 @astrixliberty]

Prasana Diksa, the daughter of Indira Gandhi and K. Pathmanathan (Riduan Abdullah), is 17 now. Her birthday is 8 April 2008.

She may not even know she was abducted from her mother.

Please help this reach her. Share this photo on TikTok so she or her friends can see it.

[Thintitha. @lifeandtimesv]

Not gonna lie , on Monday like this they would have gotten my ass 😭

[Buah Sawit @KOLIPKOLIPO]

@bernamadotcom Aku dh ckp. Buat ecrl smpai tol gombak je. Lepastu buat flying fox smpai kelantan.

[Vivian @suchnerve]

happy 10-year anniversary to this all-time BANGER https://t.co/nvncV3gCJS

[FAH @pipiyapong]

Orang Malaysia dah naik kapal pergi Israel pun tak dapat lagi hidayah

[The Garuda @HRDipendra]

If the minister says he used his Article 20 discretion to naturalize foreigners, what is stopping him from naturalizing stateless children and spouses of Malaysian nationals?

[FAH @pipiyapong]

Untuk makluman aku dulu kena tangkap sebab tulis, ‘Ismail Nike panggil mak ke?’ je.

Pegawai penyiasat tanya, betul awak tweet ‘Ismail Nike panggil mak ke?’

Aku jawab, ya.

Okey awak ditahan

[Drew Scanlon @drewscanlon]

Hi Internet! I'm Drew and THIS IS MY FACE.

If this GIF has ever brought you joy in the past, I humbly ask you to consider making a donation to the National MS Society. It would mean a lot to me and to those I know affected by the disease!

Donate at https://t.co/cHLs9sKqix

[𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐙𝐔𝐎 静男 🔻 @shizuodotmp3]

I too could pull stunning fits if my husband stole hundreds of millions of $$$ from our country

[Pengabdi Sate @WaniIbrahim]

He looks like a fake tokcha

[Cornbread Mafioso 🖕🏾 @Soulful1865]

PARIS FRANCE, the pee pee capital.

[neddo khan @neddokhan]

Never trust someone who is everybody's friend