Warlizard

I write stuff. Books mostly. Niche internet micro celebrity. Gulf War vet. Had an odd life.

[Warlizard @Warlizard]

https://t.co/zAae1iv5Pa

[Warlizard @Warlizard]

@planeofmischief Huh

[Warlizard @Warlizard]

World's biggest chocolate fall.

[Warlizard @Warlizard]

Hello Alaska

[Warlizard @Warlizard]

It's 230 am.

[Warlizard @Warlizard]

@BaronDestructo @Sommersdr @GateWorld So bummed

[Warlizard @Warlizard]

N{ooooooooooo

[GateWorld.net @GateWorld]

Amazon Has Axed Its New Stargate Series
https://t.co/CReonRt2Qg

Amazon MGM Studios is not moving forward with Martin Gero's Stargate revival, which was to begin filming this fall.

[Warlizard @Warlizard]

@grok Now drop around 15 years off

[Warlizard @Warlizard]

@grok Show me a visual interpretation of me, based on your analysis of my posts, extending back to the beginning of the account. Don't just take the last 2 days you lazy piece of shit.

[Warlizard @Warlizard]

@grok Nice glare, hair's still dark though.

[Warlizard @Warlizard]

Reposting to get Darcy back in my feed.

[Diana “Darcy the Mail Ghoul” Prince 🎃💌 @kinky_horror]

Stonedski. Talk later. 😈 #satansworkshop

[Warlizard @Warlizard]

@grok Why do I look so happy? Where's the scowl of age and distrust? Also, blond hair.

[Warlizard @Warlizard]

@Takenoko1080 Context for the hugely confused:

https://t.co/ZGbdrQjyfX

[Warlizard @Warlizard]

Most beautiful woman in the world, face that launched 1000 ships, director worries people will be too distracted by her stunning looks.

Meanwhile:

[Maria Rubtsova @dreamfallart]

Who do you think will win the World Cup this year?🏆

[Warlizard @Warlizard]

@klara_sjo

[Warlizard @Warlizard]

Prolly farts like a rhino

[AlphaFox @alphafox]

I think is was born too late in the timeline.

[🇨🇭🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿InLucysHead🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇨🇭© @InsideLucysHead]

The world's leading expert on European wasps walks into a record shop...

He asks the assistant “Do you have ‘European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.”

“Certainly,” replies the assistant. “Would you like to listen before you buy it?”

"That would be wonderful," says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones.

He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant, “I'm terribly sorry, but I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I don't recognize any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the correct recording?”

The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2. The assistant apologizes and lifts the needle onto the next track.

Again the expert listens for a few moments and then says to the assistant, "No, this just can't be right! I've been an expert in this field for 43 years and I still don't recognize any of these sounds."

The assistant apologizes again and lifts the needle to the next track.

The expert throws off the headphones as soon as it starts playing and is fuming with rage.

"This is outrageous false advertising! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and no European wasp has ever made a sound like the ones on this record!"

The manager of the shop overhears the commotion and walks over.

"What seems to be the problem, sir?"

"This is an outrage! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps. Nobody knows more about them than I do. There is no way in hell that the sounds on that record were made by European wasps!"

The manager glances down and notices the problem instantly.

"I'm terribly sorry, sir. It appears we've been playing you the bee side."

[MERICA MEMED @Mericamemed]

That deer is doing God's work

[Warlizard @Warlizard]

@ETCviperidae @kumxem Sure, grilling is like that, but following a recipe? Hell, there are YouTube videos for every dish you can imagine.

[Warlizard @Warlizard]

@ETCviperidae @kumxem Not even joking. Simply paying attention to the recipe gets you there. It's precise. Do the steps, get the yums

[Warlizard @Warlizard]

@ETCviperidae @kumxem Attention to detail