weke

civil and building works technician,,rugby player

[weke @WekesaJoe]

@WOnkundi Hapa kazi tu.. mvua ndo inaleta shida

[Moe @moneyacademyKE]

Local contractors and truck owners have moved to court seeking the publication of tax and duty exemptions granted to Chinese contractors on infrastructure projects in Kenya.

Here is what they are asking the court to address.

Thread below:

[Ernest Nyakundi 🇰🇪 @ernest_nyakundi]

He was the lowest bidder at tender stage.

By the time the project ended…

he had made more money than the highest bidder.

No variations.
No delays.
No claims.

So where was the money hiding?

A thread 🧵

[WARÚHIÚ @kamauwaruhiu]

I bought this car for 45k spent 100k on it and sold it for 35 k with a warning from the traffic commandant in kabete it was never to be seen on any Kenyan road ,we have tried in this life we have tried.

[Kelvin mwangombe @Kelvinmwangombe]

@amenya_nelson Six years ago, ntv aired her story https://t.co/WjB5zbaVRb

[Lynn Ngugi @lynn_ngugi1]

@amenya_nelson I remember covering this almost 6 years ago, interviewed a couple of family members and I can tell you for free, those mf’n cons hate to see me coming
Here is the link

https://t.co/c713Whigqo

[Axel @fastrlife]

FASTING TIMELINE:

4-8 hours:

Food has left the stomach, blood sugar falls, insulin no longer produced

12 hours:

Food consumed has been burned, digestion rests, HGH begins to rise

14 hours:

Muscle glycogen almost depleted, body switches to stored fat for energy, HGH increases 400%

16 hours:

Body ramps up fat loss process, insulin is non-existent, norepinephrine rises, mental clarity improves

18 hours:

Human growth hormone goes beyond 5 times your normal levels, body has fully entered gluconeogenesis

24 hours:

Autophagy begins, the body drains any remaining glycogen stores, ketones are released into the bloodstream

36 hours:

Autophagy increases 300%, impactful cellular regeneration occurs

48 hours:

Autophagy increases another 50%, immune system reset and regeneration, body then eliminates any remaining inflammation

72 hours:

Detoxification process maxes out

[Denis_developer🐼 @ShijaDenis]

Ni siku nyingine ya kuwakumbusha usiitupe old phone yenye great hardware specs install custom ROM ambayo iko updated ...fix safenety then change battery kama limeharibika alaf enjoy new performance mfano hii s9+ Ina run android 12 Crdroid custom ROM na iko na great performance compared na device ambazo Zina run stock os

[Winston Zin | CEO @ Impakt @winstonzin]

The ancient Romans, Greek, and Chinese ate these plants for centuries.

Modern Americans call them "weeds" and spray them with chemicals.

After looking around I found 8 common garden weeds that contain more nutrients than kale, spinach, and broccoli:

1. Dandelion Greens

[Eng. Nashon Tambo @Nashon_Tambo]

I've come across 2 instances where DPM was used in foundations at job sites. The aim being managing moisture ingress. Overkill or justified?🤔

[Willis Evans Otieno @otienowill]

For over 20 years at the helm of COTU, you have presided over the systematic pauperisation of Kenyan workers, and now you want to lecture the country on infrastructure, intelligence, and patriotism?

Using a road accident to insult citizens and justify an opaque, unconstitutional fund is emotional blackmail. Infrastructure failure is not caused by lack of money; it is caused by corruption, incompetence, and theft. Kenya has borrowed, taxed, and collected enough to build world-class roads. The problem has never been funding. It has always been where the money goes.

Calling people “stupid and primitive” for demanding:

parliamentary oversight

transparency

constitutional compliance

only confirms why workers are in trouble.
You have mistaken longevity in office for achievement.

After two decades, Kenyan workers are poorer.
After two decades, unions are weaker.
After two decades, casualisation is rampant.
After two decades, salaries trail inflation by miles.

Now, conveniently, the solution is:

“Give us Sh5 trillion first. Ask questions later.”

[weke @WekesaJoe]

@wanza_ Break-clutch

[George Njoroge @georgenjoroge_]

Since Sonko is an African man, he knows exactly what he did yesterday was wrong and he clearly knows it was a violation.

A married man’s bedroom is not a tourist site.

It is not a governor’s office.

It is not a campaign rally.

It is the seat of a man’s authority.

That room is where a husband builds his home, his intimacy, his dominance, and his legacy.

That bed is where he conquers his woman, his failures and he builds his family.

That bedroom is the lion’s den of a man’s household.

So when Sonko unashamedly walked into that bedroom, found the son-in-law semi naked. He did not “check on his daughter.”

He 💯 invaded another man’s kingdom.

Yes, the son-in-law was wrong.

Yes, he deserved a reckoning.

But even then, the son-in-law is still a man in his own house.

You do not walk into another Man’s bedroom as if he’s a Kihii, he is a man in all rights.

It’s a known fact in African tradition, you NEVER step into a married couple’s bedroom unless invited.

It is 💯 forbidden.

It is untouchable.

It is sacred.

And in Kikuyu we do not negotiate this:
“Mucii wa kihii nduathaguo ni muruu.” A man’s house is not ruled by outsiders, not even powerful fathers-in-law like Sonko.

Sonko crossed a boundary that no man should cross.

He stepped where he was not allowed.

He stood where he had no authority.

He entered a room where only TWO people command respect: the husband and the wife.

He 💯 violated another man’s bed.

For that alone, the bedroom is now polluted.

The altar is broken.

And before Sonko’s daughter sleeps there again, if she does, a cleansing must happen.

This is not superstition.

This is not debate.

This is culture.

And culture is the law of men.

Sonko broke it. And every REAL man knows it!

[GUSTAVO @Gustavo__254]

IF YOU WANT TO COME TO AUSTRALIA FORM NDIO IYO

Check if your occupation made to the list of the latest Skilled Independent Visa (Subclass 189)

[Dr. Ho Yinsen @kinjeketile]

I was left baffled when I learnt Ksh. 100 Million can only get you 3 of these.
So when you see Tahmeed order tens of them, heshimu farasi.

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Theres a plethora of mentally unstable women you’ll meet and you cant escape this fate unfortunately,because 99% of women in Nairobi are crazy. One way or another

Heres a list you can choose from

a) The ones who hate their mothers for absolutely no sensible reason. You’ll hear her say “My mom hates me because im prettier than her”

b) The beggars. Staunch feminists but wont go a week without asking you a man for money. And no matter how much you give her,theres no acknowledgment of effort made,because you’re a man aka provider.

c) The Suicide bombers. They have grown in safe environments,but this has made them so soft. Any small inconvenience they cut their wrists and armpits. Heartbreaks get them admitted in rehabs

d) The delulus. Live in a fantasy,she tells you she wants to buy a G wagon but her Mpesa balance is 35 shillings. Then you’ll hear her saying she wants to get married in paris. Correct her and she won’t talk to you for 3 days; You’re mean

e) The evil bitches. They’re so rude,but their immorality gets excused because they’re women. So it has grown from a habit to a personality. A small fight in the house and she starts shouting “Niue unikule mbwa hii”

Vijana hivi ndio mambo iko

[Survival Mindset @SurvivalMindse1]

SOVIET TITANIUM SHOVEL
During the Cold War, titanium was heavily restricted, could only be sold as a finished good, not raw stock. So a clever, corrupt Soviet general figured out the cheapest finished product was shovelheads.
They ran sheets of titanium through a metal press and sold them to the highest bidder - a cutout for the US DoD of course, specifically the Air Force material requisition office. The titanium was then processed into construction of the SR-71 Blackbird.
The scheme was caught out, the General "did the right thing" and the whole thing was hushed up until after the fall of the Soviet Union. A few years later a few crates of un-shipped shovelheads were found in storage and sold as historical novelties.

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Nairobi is a Unsalvagable city. It cannot be helped

Nairobi is a city that has cartels for everything,literally,even the smallest things. You cant even just buy a Trolley and say nitakua nabebea hapa. Mtalimana mbaya sana na cartel ya mkokoteni,everyone has cultivated that city and shared it among themselves. Like the way White men met in london to divide africa among themselves.

Do you know that Even prostitution is cartelled,huwezi vaa skirt fupi useme nitakua nategea hapa,you have to pay commission to somebody, to the pimps who allow you in their “spot”,na ujue kitu unauza niyako na wewe ndio unalipia lodgin unatengenesewa. Its very bad.

Even beggars have cartels,I witnessed two wheelchair cripples guys fighting over a spot,ati uyu ananiharibia biashara. The other one asks him nani alikuambia apa ni kwako? Then I was told these beggars have a cartel,ran by non beggars,who bring them in the morning and come for them in the evening. The money they earn,they take it to their host,who provides them with food and shelter for their children. Na wanapeangwa mpaka KPIs. Anaambiwa wewe juu uko na kinonda ya diabetes,utahurumiwa sana,hii wiki target yako ni 3500kes. Ukikosa bonoko inatembea. And the business is so broad that I heard these guys even import beggars,from Tanzania and uganda,and mozambique

This is an Unsalvagable city. Yani ata takataka iko na cartel. Even chokoraas have them. Currently im told theres an underground war going on,chokoraa wa parklands hawaskizani nawa downtown. Inasemekana chokoraa wa downtown waliiba sniffing glue ya Onjivo kibuyu 5 litres wakaenda bash huko grogon. Onjivo is the parklands minister of Agriculture,hes the only one who has access to Nairobi streetkitchen Dustbin. Amesema hakuna pizza inakulwo mpaka mzigo yake ipatikane. Nairobi shamba la mawe aisee

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

A city lawyer who struggles to construct even one convincing sentence in court pulled his client aside and whispered, “Boss, the judge wants a 200 million bribe to bless your case.” Now, in reality, the judge had only asked for 50 million. But our lawyer, a known cartel from the Ogaden clan, decided to do some mathematics that would make even Oscar Sudi look like a mathematician.

The client, being too desperate to think twice, coughed up the whole 200 million in cash. Instead of delivering the 50 million to the judge, the lawyer kept it all, walked around Nairobi like a Somali tycoon, and even upgraded from Java coffee to Kempinski cappuccinos.

Weeks later, after ruling in favor of the client, the judge accidentally met the accused at a 5-star hotel urinal because corruption doesn’t stop nature calls. He asked, “My friend, why didn’t you honor our small agreement of 50 million?”

That’s when the judge almost peed on his own shoes after learning that the client had already “released” 200 million to the lawyer long before judgment day. The Judge was left seeing with his mouth, aliumwa na kichwa saidii ikabidi ameze mara Moja mara mbili.

The judge, embarrassed and broke, tried to reach the lawyer,, only to be told to “go outside and touch some grass.” The lawyer, instead of hiding in shame, ran to the JSC to report the judge for “demanding a bribe.” Since that day, karma officially opened chambers against him.

He hasn’t won a single case because his main weapon, which is bribery, has been confiscated by fate. Clients have deserted him like Wi-Fi when tokens run out. Now, he parades himself at press conferences pretending to fight corruption in courts under a campaign he baptized “Juripesa.”

Ironically, before investigating the judges, someone should first audit the cases this lawyer ever won,, they were all bribery-sponsored. And to spice up his CV of Games of Urban Areas, the lawyer has also been moonlighting as a financial adviser for Al-Shabaab militants and Somali pirates, helping them invest across Kenya like he’s running Nairobi Stock Exchange for Terrorists.

Today at noon, the corrupt lawyer will be at the MSIKITI bowing down with his onion sized nyash raised high above sea level facing mountain Ololokwe, asking Allah to bless the work of his hands because to him, corruption is not Haraam, only pork Is.

Ayaaam telling you Omwami, heri dini yetu ya msambwa where Yehova Wanyonyi is our Master & we eat everything that can be accompanied by ovusuma. Anyway, Kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.👀

[Ja Siaya™🇰🇪 @unsulliedwarior]

Finally Andrew Kibe's Prophesy on Eve Mungai and Director Trevor about their breakup and it's consequences has come to pass, full videos below 👇

[Eric @amerix]

On this post,

Share a photo of a road in your village or estate,

Mention the name of the MCA, the ward and the political party.

All MCAs must be voted out.

— all of them!