Mrs. B.

As the wife of a gamer, I hear a lot of strange things. Here they are

[Mrs. B. @WhatMyGamerSays]

I'm gonna get this thing that looks like a condom wrapper. Brown cap, fart room.

[Mrs. B. @WhatMyGamerSays]

I hope this updated so I can just shoot people in the face.

[Mrs. B. @WhatMyGamerSays]

Gamer: If it makes you feel any better...goose eggs.
Me: What does that mean?
Gamer: I don't know. But I'm a chicken.

[Mrs. B. @WhatMyGamerSays]

Fuck you buddy. I saw you cummin before you even knew you were cummin.

[Mrs. B. @WhatMyGamerSays]

YOU FUCKING KILLED RAINBOW BRITE!!
Yeah. He's a dbag.

[Mrs. B. @WhatMyGamerSays]

I grenade-dicked him for nothing.

[Mrs. B. @WhatMyGamerSays]

I can tell when other dudes are cummin'. It's a special power of mine.

[Mrs. B. @WhatMyGamerSays]

Why are you going that way?! ... ... Oh. That wasn't you. That was a teleporting zombie.

[Mrs. B. @WhatMyGamerSays]

I don't care if you're a robot. I just shot you in the dick. That should suck.

[Mrs. B. @WhatMyGamerSays]

I just need a ho

[Mrs. B. @WhatMyGamerSays]

Where did I put my ho?

[Mrs. B. @WhatMyGamerSays]

You get steak. Well, raw steak. You need to cook it *farts loudly* with your farts.

[Mrs. B. @WhatMyGamerSays]

Where did my cows go?! I had cows in here. ... ... Definitely had cows in here.

[Mrs. B. @WhatMyGamerSays]

You know what? Screw it. Let's go eat a mushroom. ... ... Nevermind.

[Mrs. B. @WhatMyGamerSays]

My sister: @CornMuscles has a puking skeleton.
@CornMuscles: It's a witch doctor head!
My sister: It's a puking skeleton.

[Mrs. B. @WhatMyGamerSays]

Thank you for not dying while I was away.

[Mrs. B. @WhatMyGamerSays]

Oh crap! I forgot that's not the way to the crack. .... Crack kills kids

[Mrs. B. @WhatMyGamerSays]

I'm fighting mononucleosis! Now lupus! I'm fighting an episode of House!

[Mrs. B. @WhatMyGamerSays]

Goddamn it! When I'm trying to punch you, run into my fist.

[Mrs. B. @WhatMyGamerSays]

Me: Did the game just say more pizza ahead!?
Gamer: Gates. Blame Peter Dinklage.