Russell Whitaker

[Russell Whitaker @WhitakerRussell]

Friendly reminder:
Be a good person in real life. None of this social media shit matters.

[Russell Whitaker @WhitakerRussell]

@UnsubscribeCast Jocko Willink
Kentucky Ballistics
Kagan Dunlap
Austin "mandatory fun day"

[Russell Whitaker @WhitakerRussell]

@UnsubscribeCast Jocko Willink, Chris Boden, Scott from Kentucky Ballistics.

[Russell Whitaker @WhitakerRussell]

Dear problems,
Give me a short break. I am a regular customer so please give me a discount.

[Russell Whitaker @WhitakerRussell]

@Fat_Electrician Why do a handful of states charge property tax on vehicles? Paying taxes on a depreciating asset is just as wrong.

[Russell Whitaker @WhitakerRussell]

Minneapolis airport designer's said
"Let's make them run a 5k"

[Russell Whitaker @WhitakerRussell]

Saw a license plate on an Audi car from Texas today. It said Haudi

[Russell Whitaker @WhitakerRussell]

Sometimes when I'm sad I'll take a pregnancy test and say at least I'm not pregnant

[Russell Whitaker @WhitakerRussell]

@PlayPhasmo Imagine a dynamic setting where you
have (X) time to find the ghost location and get all evidence before it changes to a new ghost and location altogether.

[Russell Whitaker @WhitakerRussell]

I'm not addressing any rumors unless they're about me eating coleslaw

[Russell Whitaker @WhitakerRussell]

Born to monkey forced to business

[Russell Whitaker @WhitakerRussell]

I despise an unfamiliar grocery store

[Russell Whitaker @WhitakerRussell]

It isn't the dryer that's shrinking your clothes..... it's your refrigerator

[Russell Whitaker @WhitakerRussell]

People in Athens rarely get up before sunrise. Which proves that dawn is tough on Greece

[Russell Whitaker @WhitakerRussell]

If you keep your AC any higher than 75,
please don't invite me over to your terrarium you lizard

[Russell Whitaker @WhitakerRussell]

My car chapstick is not doing well

[Russell Whitaker @WhitakerRussell]

No matter what's going on in your life,
there's some form of potato that can make it better

[Russell Whitaker @WhitakerRussell]

Call me a staircase because

[Russell Whitaker @WhitakerRussell]

Why is Rhode Island called an island when it isn't?

[Russell Whitaker @WhitakerRussell]

I just had a little kid in Walmart run up and tell me, "Your bones are wet," then run away. I'm uncomfortable by his statement now

[Russell Whitaker @WhitakerRussell]

Why are child seats required in cars but not in airplanes?