Eric Ruck

[Eric Ruck @WhoHasNearChaos]

@theliamnissan So you don't have any particular skills?

[Eric Ruck @WhoHasNearChaos]

@allenanalysis Pretty please @KidRock don't come to Isle of Man.

[Eric Ruck @WhoHasNearChaos]

@NFLonDAZN Why would you think a 24 hour tape delay on the Baltimore Miami game is even remotely acceptable? There is about zero chance that I will be renewing this subscription. @NFL can find a better partner or lose money to illegal streams.

[Eric Ruck @WhoHasNearChaos]

@lincolnfingroup I've been trying to get service on a life insurance policy whose listed agent has gone AWOL and Lincoln's phone support is completely awful. Does someone here want to actually help or are we getting into lawsuit territory?

[Eric Ruck @WhoHasNearChaos]

@ScienceGuys_ That's basically The Prisoner in a nutshell.

[Eric Ruck @WhoHasNearChaos]

@ilovenostalgia Once I went to rent a gorilla costume but this guy was on clearance sale cheaper than a day rental. Close enough.

[Eric Ruck @WhoHasNearChaos]

@4SH37 Did you insist on cleaning the chalkboards for her afterwards?

[Eric Ruck @WhoHasNearChaos]

@Tbone7219 Try wrapping it around a hot dog. Props on slicing it to avoid the bologna bowl, honestly I never thought of that.

[Eric Ruck @WhoHasNearChaos]

@three_mingos @TweeetsOfDogs You could also go Knuckles for this one.

[Eric Ruck @WhoHasNearChaos]

@tunguz Clearly you want to ride it on a crime spree to become the greatest menace in the tri-state area.

[Eric Ruck @WhoHasNearChaos]

@4SH37 Laugh it up, monkey boy.

[Eric Ruck @WhoHasNearChaos]

@TheFungi669 Geez, take a number.

[Eric Ruck @WhoHasNearChaos]

@ilovenostalgia Kurt Vonnegut probably. Justin Tucker? Raven Simone?

[Eric Ruck @WhoHasNearChaos]

@4SH37 I’m a stomach sleeper. That would be unnatural, and possibly disrespectful.

[Eric Ruck @WhoHasNearChaos]

@joncoopertweets Mitch McConnell’s hard drive is fragged.

[Eric Ruck @WhoHasNearChaos]

@historyinmemes Sunglasses.

[Eric Ruck @WhoHasNearChaos]

@jennifersmagic Even better, Biden commutes his federal sentence so he has to serve in Fulton instead of Club Fed.

[Eric Ruck @WhoHasNearChaos]

@nflnetwork You need to dump DAZN. Immediately. Doesn't work. You're going to lose all your customers in the UK.

[Eric Ruck @WhoHasNearChaos]

@AdemoyeJohn Creative Writing...usually I'm the only guy in standup with a fine arts degree.

[Eric Ruck @WhoHasNearChaos]

@joncoopertweets In the mug shot Trump looks like he's wearing more makeup than Kimberly Guilfoyle.