Will Hartzell-Baird

Author, programmer, and lawyer by technicality.

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[Will Hartzell-Baird @WillDHB]

Hey, look - I *do* write things! See? My new book, The Taste of Cashews, is out now! http://t.co/H1LyHkmdOF

[Will Hartzell-Baird @WillDHB]

Revenge of the Stochastic Parrot https://t.co/kZkN7nknYj

[Will Hartzell-Baird @WillDHB]

Stochastic Parrots https://t.co/ivp2CrlPRC

[Will Hartzell-Baird @WillDHB]

AI Art https://t.co/EZp6EroW3i

[Mastodon (@[email protected]) @joinmastodon]

Mastodon has just passed over 2 million active monthly users, a new record! People are voting with their feet. The future of social media doesn't have to belong to a billionaire, it can be in the hands of its users.

[Andy Matthews @stupidoldandy]

Oh, so when other ppl call their pets "fur baby" its fine but when I call a kid a "skin dog" somehow I'm "disgusting" and "the worst pediatrician in this hospital"??

[Will Hartzell-Baird @WillDHB]

@maureenjohnson *Whispers gently* ...Mastodon... *fades into the wind*

[Janelle Shane @JanelleCShane]

Some other places you can find me:

My newsletter! https://t.co/Orlq55fmxA

Mastodon: https://t.co/mMSALGKajw

https://t.co/5LnNZmnHzR

Instagram (sporadically): Janelle.Shane

[Will Hartzell-Baird @WillDHB]

@TheLocalBard @mcmullenwrites Pick a server from here: https://t.co/j4FjsH0RkH Message me from there (@[email protected]), and I will help you with any questions you have once you've gotten signed up.

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

police chief: all you had to do was inform the wife her husband was killed. and instead you…

oompa loompa: sang her a song about how much he sucked, yes

[Will Hartzell-Baird @WillDHB]

Into the Fediverse https://t.co/5iUeKGof9w #Fediverse #Mastodon

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

Everything happening on Twitter now is a lot easier to understand if you‘ve ever had a younger sibling that invented a game and added a new rule every time they started losing.

[Will Hartzell-Baird @WillDHB]

@mcmullenwrites I'm loving Mastodon so far.

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

As long as we’re turning clocks back I set mine to Christmas 1997.
I’ve just received a tamagotchi.
We are both blissfully unaware of the oncoming struggles of adulthood.
It is also unaware in 3 weeks I will lose it under my dad’s car seat and it will die.
We are happy.

[Micro Flash Fiction📖 @MicroFlashFic]

“You're never getting out of here.”
“So you say.”
“No one is coming to help.”
“It would be a first if they did.”
“Then why do you resist? You have nothing left!”
“We both know that’s not true. And I can prove it.”
“How?”
“Simple. If I've got nothing, what do you want from me?”

[Micro Flash Fiction📖 @MicroFlashFic]

"If you could be any kind of undead--"
"Mummy."
"Really?"
"Vampires are always hungry, zombies are herd animals, ghosts have unfinished business. Mummies just chill at home."
"So you just want an unholy version of your current life?"
"I also want to curse anyone who bothers me."

[John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets]

If you’re feeling jealous because someone you know is posting photos of an amazing vacation that you could never afford, remember this: Now is an excellent time to break into their home and steal stuff.

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

Getting in a fight with a dentist because I keep insisting he upgrades me to “the good teeth” and he keeps insisting that’s not a thing.