Winchester Chap

Just your stereotypical Wintonian. The Home of Winchy Banter.

[Winchester Chap @WinchesterChap]

In the Jailer. #workingclassscum

[Winchester Chap @WinchesterChap]

@Dani___Alves I'm already going. #Aaaaampshire #TheOnlyWayIsHampshireSoEssexCanFuckOff

[Winchester Chap @WinchesterChap]

"@hantschronicle: Naked man accosts person in Winchester alleyway' http://t.co/EEJqOm4LH6" #WinchesterChapProblems

[Winchester Chap @WinchesterChap]

@KTHopkins and I are off to Highcliffe to throw mud at children named Tyler, Chantelle and Mercedes. #WinchesterChapPasjTimes

[Winchester Chap @WinchesterChap]

Why would you name a future king after a brand of clothing poor people wear? #George

[Winchester Chap @WinchesterChap]

Stanmore mums are always popping out sprogs into a work shy family who live off the state. So why so much fuss about the #RoyalBaby?

[Winchester Chap @WinchesterChap]

The royal baby wont be born today as it will be ginger and gingers don't venture outside when it's sunny.

[Winchester Chap @WinchesterChap]

#YoureMoreAttractiveIf you're not from Highcliffe, Stanmore or Winnall. #pikeys

[Winchester Chap @WinchesterChap]

"@naomiandjack: Good luck to all our abseilers today! 320ft up the @SpinnakerTower, would you do it?" No, I refuse to go to POORtsmouth.

[Winchester Chap @WinchesterChap]

When you were a kid and you built a sandcastle at the abbey gardens and the next day you come back and some prick has knocked it down. #WCP.

[Winchester Chap @WinchesterChap]

So @Mrs_Chap is up the duff. We're doing a Beckham and naming it after where we fucked. She'll be called Abbey Gardens. #AlFresco

[Winchester Chap @WinchesterChap]

Here's one of my very own #MatalanSummerTips: Get a job so that you don't have to go to Matalan.

[Winchester Chap @WinchesterChap]

"@JBMcLoughlin: @WinchesterChap @MajorOfLondon He'd be lucky to get any of them...#AskBoris"Not true, Boris is a sex god. #VeryNiiiice

[Winchester Chap @WinchesterChap]

"@nfedlatest: Horse & Country Watch • Found - Shetland pony: Has anyone lost a young shetland pony?" Try the Findus factory.

[Winchester Chap @WinchesterChap]

#askboris @MayorofLondon Your hair is amazing, but does the carpet match the curtains?

[Winchester Chap @WinchesterChap]

Shag, Marry, Avoid: Ann Widdecombe, Pat Butcher, Susan Boyle. #AskBoris @majoroflondon

[Winchester Chap @WinchesterChap]

When are you going to become Mayor of Winchester? You would fit in far better here old chap. #AskBoris

[Winchester Chap @WinchesterChap]

Attention chubby chapettes: Please may I remind you that hot pants are for the fit chapettes. #PutMeOffMyOlives #WinchesterChapProblems

[Winchester Chap @WinchesterChap]

Sorry for the lack of tweets. I've been busy working so that 17 year old winnall slappers can recieve their 'baby benefits.'#WinchChapProbs

[Winchester Chap @WinchesterChap]

"@NicolaBond_: My grandma just asked me why I was going to the doctors later and is it for an abortion." #WinchesterChapetteProblems