Wonder Doug

Queer Comedian, Writer, and Porn Store Manager at @thegardenonhigh in Columbus Ohio. Debut album Roller Coaster on iTunes & Spotify.

[Wonder Doug @Wonder_Doug]

I don't know what the guy last night on Grindr was expecting when he asked "and what are we looking for tonight?" but it definitely wasn't "the same thing we look for every night, Pinkie!"

[Wonder Doug @Wonder_Doug]

Chris Pratt: joins a problematic homophobic church
Marvel Comics: writes him in a bisexual polyamorous relationship
Taika & MCU: Has Thor flirt with him in the new Thor Trailer
Me: Eat a D*ck, Chris. Eat a God-sized D*ck.

[Wonder Doug @Wonder_Doug]

Idc about football but I'm not gonna shit on people who do. Let people enjoy things they enjoy as long as they aren't assholes about it. That being said: HAPPY NEW JORDAN PEELE TRAILER DROPPIN DAY Y'ALL!

[Wonder Doug @Wonder_Doug]

When a guy pees in a public bathroom and he puts his other hand on the wall while he pees, it's kind of like he's holding hands with every man whose ever peed there before. And I think that's really beautiful.

[Wonder Doug @Wonder_Doug]

Only 32 more days until we can blame our problems on 2021.

[Wonder Doug @Wonder_Doug]

@epophoto Gun Fingers

[Wonder Doug @Wonder_Doug]

I don't get all these gays on Grindr looking for a plug. I lose my phone charger just like everyone, but it's like $5 at the gas station buddy.

[Wonder Doug @Wonder_Doug]

Nevada is definitely being that drag queen that didn't send their music, showed up during intermission, and wants to play their music off your phone. Let's hope their performance is worth it, but I'm seriously considering not booking them again.

[Wonder Doug @Wonder_Doug]

Hey people in Recovery:
Stay strong. If the debate is making you feel hopeless and the live-tweeting drinking games are unavoidable and triggering, remember how far you've come. I love you.

[Wonder Doug @Wonder_Doug]

The Garden was just restocked on Emergency Contraceptive / Plan B. These are free, with no questions asked, courtesy of our friends at Women Have Options. Or if you feel more comfortable, I will have some at my place near Morse and High, just message me and we can figure it out.

[Wonder Doug @Wonder_Doug]

Graveyard Dad: Gallagher Fen Nature Preserve.

[Wonder Doug @Wonder_Doug]

Just tested it:
It's about a 15 minute bike ride from the new place to get comics at Laughing Ogre.

[Wonder Doug @Wonder_Doug]

Today I am 5 Years Sober. To celebrate, we will donating 100% of the proceeds from the Wonder Doug Shirts sold at the Garden this weekend to Jacob's House Recovery Center! 5 years is awesome, but it would be even more awesome to help someone with today.

[Wonder Doug @Wonder_Doug]

Today I woke up 5 Years Sober!
While I am proud of making it this far, please comment something about YOURSELF in the last 5 years that you are proud of. I was drinking myself to death and would love to hear about the victories of your life that I am blessed to be alive for.

[Wonder Doug @Wonder_Doug]

Mental Illness is still a bitch. How am I already feeling like an overwhelming burden today? All I've done is wake up and peed. Lol. I'm ok. Just trying to get better at keeping my irrational thoughts in line. I hope you all have an amazing day, no matter how many times you pee.

[Wonder Doug @Wonder_Doug]

Is the Mind Control Chip in the Covid Test or the Vaccine? I need to know when I can start blaming my actions on the Government. Entire bag of Cheetos for Breakfast? Government. Trying to spit game at a Dilf and all that comes out is a stuttering "Good Day", it's probably The Man

[Wonder Doug @Wonder_Doug]

Here is a random reminder that last year I dressed like "When you order Sexy Chucky off Wish". I'm Sorry / You're Welcome.

[Wonder Doug @Wonder_Doug]

@Nangonish Hahaha yesssss

[Wonder Doug @Wonder_Doug]

I'm so sorry to all the customers up in the porn store that just had to hear Sara McLachlan "Angel" on our 90's station. 🐶☠😂

[Wonder Doug @Wonder_Doug]

I think everything is happening because we finally have had enough white women naming their babies Nevaeh (cute, different and Heaven backwards) to unleash Hell On Earth. You could have just went with Braylen and Braxton but no.