Gimmick

Aspiring Asthmatic

[Gimmick @Wormdiscussion]

Requirements for junior software developer role
-Invented Java
-Willing to relocate to a deep part of the Amazon (will be required to install own internet infrastructure)
-Willing to look at busted code this idiot Jared made 3 years ago and fix it all, fucking Jared

[Gimmick @Wormdiscussion]

Simone Biles is 3’1” and throws herself 30 feet in the air to do backflips. No shit she needs a break. I’ve had 5 full blown mental breakdowns at work and not one of them involved someone telling me to land a front flip in splits on global television.

[Gimmick @Wormdiscussion]

Finally living my childhood dream of opening a linens and curtains store called sheety sheety hang hang

[Gimmick @Wormdiscussion]

Assholes to assholes, butts to butts

[Gimmick @Wormdiscussion]

We took Quiznos for granted

[Gimmick @Wormdiscussion]

Take me down to malaria flies city where the pukes lime green and the pants are shitty

[Gimmick @Wormdiscussion]

#Nicheman

[Gimmick @Wormdiscussion]

#SAFEMOON ❤️

[Gimmick @Wormdiscussion]

Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Explain to that man that he needs to fish himself, and give you 99% of the fish he catches so you can sell them back to his family and friends for a 70% mark up to appease shareholders or you’ll take away his fishing pole and health insuran

[Gimmick @Wormdiscussion]

@MiguelC60943107 Here’s the thing: I didn’t copy it from the internet. Code that does the same stuff just sort of looks the same. But I don’t feel like jeopardizing the grade.

[Gimmick @Wormdiscussion]

Computer science hw feedback: “Hey really good job! It looks like you copy pasted this straight from the internet, so if you do that again make sure you change some of the variable names. 29/30 points”

[Gimmick @Wormdiscussion]

@angecanthackit Girl I don’t plan on being any kind of appropriate

[Gimmick @Wormdiscussion]

Rebranding myself as a thot.

[Gimmick @Wormdiscussion]

Starting a new cryptocurrency called billcoin. The value is never made public, but I know what it is at any given moment. You Venmo me, then I text you the number of billcoins you have now.

[Gimmick @Wormdiscussion]

The autopsy report came back and it turned out prince phillip died from suicide by eating 30 cloves of garlic then sprinting into a church uninvited

[Gimmick @Wormdiscussion]

Too much focus on self care. Not enough on self deprecation. Drink too much at a daytime social event then call your boss. Eat two frozen pizzas then throw a third in the oven. Fart in an Albertsons. The next time anything remotely positive happens it’ll be like you took mdma.

[Gimmick @Wormdiscussion]

FaceId doesn’t recognize me when I smile

[wint @dril]

ragdolling as an olympic sport. ragdolling into a pile of bird houses at 99mph . rag dolling down the side of the hoover dam etc. gold medal

[Gimmick @Wormdiscussion]

“Why is your handle wormdiscussion?” Asks my girlfriend as I listen to her speak through the soft topsoil

[Gimmick @Wormdiscussion]

Thinking of going keytoe