WorryingOAP

Bored. Old. Worried. Things were better when Churchill was about. *parody*

[WorryingOAP @WorryingOAP]

If there's one thing I've learned in all of my 81 years is that common sense ain't bloody common.

[George Louis @GeorgeLComedy]

Day 272839 of lockdown and Ive now found myself treating the cat like a readers wife

[WorryingOAP @WorryingOAP]

We’ve run out of Fox’s glacier mints and a trick or treater with a full beard and a voice deeper Frank Bruno just rang the bell wanting to bloody trick or treat us. We’ve turned all the lights off and are hiding in the conservatory.

[WorryingOAP @WorryingOAP]

Vegan week? What’re we going to get? A stick of celery dipped in icing sugar? A jacket potato dressed up as a bloody scone? An iron tablet in a cake case? I won’t lose #GBBO to those sprialising nutcases too.

[WorryingOAP @WorryingOAP]

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it till the day I kick the bucket. Paul Hollywood has the hands of a bricklayer and the fact they’re covered in flour and bloody hundreds and thousands and not cement is a crying shame. What a sad loss for the building trade.

[WorryingOAP @WorryingOAP]

With all this Jamie Oliver business floating about, I’m a bit worried. The wife made something called a stir fry the other night which they reckon is of Chinese origin. Will I be arrested?

[WorryingOAP @WorryingOAP]

He’s fine. He and his wife have just returned from a week’s holiday in Scarborough. He’s having his driveway levelled on Saturday.

[Carl 📷 @carl_thompson70]

@WorryingOAP How's Mick next door? Heard nowt in over a year. Go and check on him

[WorryingOAP @WorryingOAP]

If having to watch the wife’s line dancing hasn’t killed me, then it’s going to take more than the sun.

[WorryingOAP @WorryingOAP]

Saw a pizza with pineapple on the top of it in the Co-op. 30 degree heat and now, exotic foods. People will be coming here instead of Spain now, as if the bloody parking’s not bad enough as it is. Moving to Mongolia.

[WorryingOAP @WorryingOAP]

@rickygervais I’m sure Bobby Davro had to put up with a bit of stick when he was starting out too and now look... he’s performing in Halifax and everything. Keep at it lad. It could be you next.

[WorryingOAP @WorryingOAP]

Should’ve moved to Benidorm when we had the chance instead of spending money on the bloody conservatory we can’t sit in because it’s like bloody Siberia in there.

[WorryingOAP @WorryingOAP]

We’re down to our last four slices of bread and I don’t have a bobsleigh or a loaf in the freezer. We’ll starve before we bloody freeze.

[WorryingOAP @WorryingOAP]

@top1percentile Good man, Nigel.

[WorryingOAP @WorryingOAP]

If you're old enough for national service, you're too old to be knocking on my door wanting a lemon sherbet.

[WorryingOAP @WorryingOAP]

This Hurricane Irma is a worry. I've bought the recycling boxes inside and double locked the front door. I don't want tins all over my drive

[WorryingOAP @WorryingOAP]

@rickygervais I'm at my pal Gerry's. I've just opened this in his eye shot. He's moved into the conservatory.

[WorryingOAP @WorryingOAP]

Worst part of #GBBO is Hollywood. It's a travesty to see the sturdy back and hands of a tradesman wasted fannying about with bloody pastry.

[WorryingOAP @WorryingOAP]

Bloody bank holidays. Blood pressure's through the roof. Can't relax. Bet I think it's Monday tomorrow and forget to put the bins out too...

[WorryingOAP @WorryingOAP]

These bloody for sale signs moonlighting as school fete ads. Mick next door put one up. Had heart failure. I thought I was going to lose him

[WorryingOAP @WorryingOAP]

I was talking about fish and chips. Not cock. We only have chicken on Sundays, Grace, love. Don't talk daft. https://t.co/Btj2PyGQba

[WorryingOAP @WorryingOAP]

@rickygervais I've just opened this on the bus beside my friend Howard. He's moved seats now.