Wyatt Shorter

I'd say that's that, Mattress Man

[Wyatt Shorter @WyattShorter]

I had a dream last night that Meryl Streep came over for dinner, but I didn’t have any clean NICE wine glasses, so I had to pour her a drink in one of my backup wine glasses, and she said it was O.K. but I could TELL she wasn’t stoked and I woke up in a cold sweat.

[Mark Carney @MarkJCarney]

The name Lake Ontario comes from the Wendat word Ontari’io, which, appropriately, means “the lake is beautiful, the lake is big”.

The name is more than 400 years old, predating both the Confederation of Canada and the Declaration of Independence of the United States of America.

We know that America is changing. Their trading relationships, their foreign policies, their national monuments, their hydronyms.

Canadians also know that naming reality means calling it Lake Ontario – then, now and always.

[evan loves worf @esjesjesj]

When I bend over to pick up an incredibly light object that won’t be a problem to lift at all

[Alex Madrzyk 🌿 @alexdominic_]

adding the sound effects did not disappoint

[Andy Ryan @ItsAndyRyan]

Nick Drake is one of my favourite people named after a type of bird theft. Others include Russell Crowe, Rob Fowler, Peregrin Took and Jack Sparrow.

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

Kinda chic to [piano falls on my head, instantly killing me]

[Reductress @Reductress]

Woman Getting Anxious About How Stressed She's Been

[grace @gracefishlove]

idk i think the elephant really ties the room together

[kate wehwalt @mcmansionhell]

this made me want to die, thanks!

[wormbuxxxxxxxxxx @kayteterry]

“A ship— a magnificent ship— full of gay men… and me”

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

"Babe, let's not argue right now. We can do it later over the phone when I'm on the train"

[Charlie Ledger @CharlieLedgerX]

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it

[Evan @MacDonaldTweets]

He looks like he's about to turn Edmonton's smash burger market on its head

[Wyatt Shorter @WyattShorter]

Every June I Google “Ottawa Ice Cream Truck Live Location Tracker” and inevitably my disappointment is renewed in this city’s lack of serious tech innovation.

[The Lesbian Pervert @babyknifespice]

the average conversation on love island:

[Olga Tuleninova 🦋 @olgatuleninova]

Albert Jacques Franck (Canadian, 1899–1973)
"Backyards of Houses on a Street in Toronto", 1965.
Oil on Masonite, 30 × 24 inches.
Private Collection

[Mike 📺 @michaelcollado]

Cinco de Mayo on Taco Tuesday

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

[day after everyone got turned human again]
beast:
beauty:
beast:
beauty: …so do we just not have cups now?