Mark

There have been decades of speculation about the state of my existence

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

@JayDeeWriting Yeah he has the best performance in the movie

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

Watched this last night (very obvious trigger warning)

Funny timing where Sopranos comes out in January 1999 and is about to make Gandolfini a household name and then 8mm gets released the next month and he's playing like Pervert #3 in it

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

@Thiefybah Elle M. Thomas (the protagonist): What do we have here?

Busch Stadium Employee: Novelty beer mug night. He had bought 14

Elle M. Thomas: Expensive

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

Streaming services will have a section labeled "Your Next Obsession"

And it's a tv series called like St. Louis EMTs

[Handsome B. Charming @CTachio83984]

perhaps you know me by my nom du plume, Slimy Sal

[mammina @bringme_cats]

Found him warming his STOMACH on my CUP OF TEA!?!?

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

@eatingedibles Asking a doctor if I should stop picking up the table and sliding all of the food down into my mouth

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

Working at a car dealership has to be so weird. Your cubicle is just there in the space between two SUVs

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

There was just a Daily Double hidden in my dresser drawer. I risked everything on it and got the question wrong

[Cameron Bradford @camerobradford]

I hope I never get a nickname like "the butcher of _____." I've been purposely avoiding massacres for this reason

[ULTRA💀BLAST @ultrakillblast]

GHOST IN THE SHELL (1995)

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

Trying to find cover in a shootout and I duck behind a big magnet and all the bullets get drawn directly to me

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

The year is 2001. I'm 11, white, male, big as a house and watching Alicia Keys' "Fallin'" music video wishing I could have braids

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

If I were a soccer player my goal celebration would be taking a nap next to the net for 7 minutes

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

@AryaSpeedwagon lol

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

Good food!

[MOTHERFUCKER UNLIMITED @mfunltd]

I dated a girl who just threw all her change in the garbage

[Brandonomics Defender @JohnGregoryJr]

I had an alcoholic coworker who told me if you drink vodka no one can smell it and I was like dude you smell like vodka

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

In the 1970s you could walk into an airport and straight onto a plane with a lit cigarette and glass of whiskey sloshing around in a tumbler

[Ichigo Niggasake @SomaKazima2]

Oh it was PISSED 😭😭😭

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

@Nrgill1 I like it!