Nominal Christian

Creator of the Nominal Christian's Manual: The Bible rewritten for people who call themselves Christian but don't want to change the way they live their lives.

[Nominal Christian @Xinnameonly]

What happens if the pope sees his shadow? Does advent come early?

[Nominal Christian @Xinnameonly]

Wanna see a Protestant feign enthusiasm? Tell him how excited you are that you have tickets to see the pope!

[Nominal Christian @Xinnameonly]

I watched a sweet youtube video #faithinhumanityrestored but then I read the comments #faithinhumanitylost

[Nominal Christian @Xinnameonly]

In light of recent events, I've decided to self identify as a Transchristian. It's what I think I am that counts. #TransIsTheNewBlack

[Nominal Christian @Xinnameonly]

@filamman most common reason is burn out but hey if you can please the critics of the last pastor then you'll have a good time ...for a year

[Nominal Christian @Xinnameonly]

It's interesting how so many pastors seem to know what's better for the church than the pastor who preceded them. #LoneRanger

[Nominal Christian @Xinnameonly]

In hindsight, unplugging the copy machine during Holy Week was a bad April Fools joke. Now we need a new church secretary and a new machine.

[Nominal Christian @Xinnameonly]

It's not too late to ask your pastor what day #MaundyThursday will be celebrated this year. That question always provokes a great reaction.

[Nominal Christian @Xinnameonly]

I love the sound of an organ #ThingsJesusNeverSaid

[Nominal Christian @Xinnameonly]

Our idea to make a church time capsule lost steam when we couldn't find anything we do or own that represents 2015.

[Nominal Christian @Xinnameonly]

It's not that our church doesn't like change...we're just sentimental about the '60's

[Nominal Christian @Xinnameonly]

@LloydLegalist "...man looks at the outward appearance, but dogs compare their size" - 1 Schnauzer 16:7b

[Nominal Christian @Xinnameonly]

Today's the day everybody pretends to be Catholic #StPatricksDay

[Nominal Christian @Xinnameonly]

I wanted our church volleyball team shirt to say "The Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve" but the pastor didn't like it :(

[Nominal Christian @Xinnameonly]

My pastor recently announced that I received the Eutychus award. That's a good thing, right? I got a private seat in the balcony by a window

[FBI @FBI]

Your ways were unconventional, but you'll be missed Macklin. #ParksFarewell To learn about a real FBI career, visit http://t.co/HIYV9b74KC.

[Nominal Christian @Xinnameonly]

"You know what this hymn needs? More organ solos and weird modulations" Said no one ever.

[Nominal Christian @Xinnameonly]

How many times do I have to say I'm sorry for reading 50 shades of Grey to the youth group?! I was making a point about Song of Solomon.

[Nominal Christian @Xinnameonly]

It's amazing how much respect you get for speaking in Klingon to a Charismatic.

[Nominal Christian @Xinnameonly]

Why do Christians get so upset about people leaving the church? When I'm 'Deacon on Duty' I can't ever get people to leave fast enough.