iWrite

I AM · Christ's ·

[iWrite @YHWHsScribe]

Please obey the promptings of the Holy Spirit, it is the difference between life and death for somebody.

[Alhaji @yeankhar]

This is the story we all should be talking about. The least every Nigerian should demand is a probe. How can one person be linked to this misappropriation after we’ve all agreed to start akara, roadside corn and other petty businesses?

[We$t @flygodT]

“Just have money, you’ll enjoy Lagos” Twitter is awfully quiet today, how much money wants to save you from low quality infrastructural problems?

[ג'ושוע @A_JOSH27]

The chief of staff to the president is taking monetary bribes to hand out positions in faux government ministries but news circles are filled with jokes and memes about trivial issues when treasonous actions like this continue to affect and decimate the lives of millions.

[Ifekam @bethabetter]

Fibroid:
Omg how will she have babies?
Endometriosis:
Omg how will she have babies?
PMOS:
Omg how will she have babies?
Ovarian cyst:
Omg how will she have babies?

Nobody is worried about the woman in pain, struggling and in need of help.

[Wanjohn D-Mecho @wanjohn1]

I’ve been seeing the cars submerged in water because of the recent heavy rainfalls… Let me give us some guiding tips..

It is usually an unprecedented situation as most of us don’t plan to encounter floods or any form of being stranded.

If you happen to find your car submerged unanticipatedly, if the water level at least goes beyond the level of the tyre..

1.) Switch off the engine immediately… Just switch it off

2) Try and go out of the car for your own safety, for cars wired electronically such that the doors or windows may not function because of the water, you can break through the window with your head rest on the car seat, your car seats are designed in such a way that you can detach them, remove it and break the glasses to find your way out

3) If the rain, flood abates, do not try to start or crank your engine immediately, this is where most people have issues with their cars

4) It is important that you try and drain the engine oil immediately and service it at that point, while not making any attempt to ignite or start the engine..

5) Try and leave the car for about 2-3 days without doing anything, just leave it to dry off, if it is on the main road or obstructing traffic, put your gear lever on the Neutral position, for both manual and automatic transmissions and push it off the road, remember, do not try to ignite the car

From experience and a professional angle, you may not have to spend a dime on the car for repairs, the car will come up after 48hours if you do not try to crank it from the inception of the flood or rain.

It might be too much if a sacrifice to wait but it will save you a whole lot of expenses..

Worst case scenario, tow the car to your house or anywhere near that is safe, just do not start the engine and leave it for at least 48 hours..

Most importantly, drain the engine oil after the first 24 hours and have the engine oil replaced before attempting to start or ignite the engine.

I’m A Mechanic, and I know these tips will help.

If there will be any electrical malfunctions, they will be minimal, just leave your car for at least 48 hours.

#DoroMecho ✌️✌️

[Bhila @Bhila_official]

It’s not a boycott, but it’s us showing solidarity with our people who are stranded in South Africa.

We love Mafikizolo. Their music has a special place in Zimbabwe, it wont change.

We don’t dance when there is a funeral

[SizZzle. 😎🇳🇬 @n6oflife6]

An NYSC reform of this Magnitude should have had MANY public discussions with the Graduates. Nobody who has done NYsC will suggest increasing Camp stay to 6 weeks or outrightly changing the Uniform.

Thats my 1st sign this NYSC recommendation was Cooked Up by a proper Idiot. 🙄

[iamopeyemi🃏 @OpeYeemiii]

And with that I have no sibling left in Nigeria. 🙏🏾

[Ocho @magic3hundred]

There’s nothing the govt uses to trick poor people more than skill acquisition after university

[Johnmark Obiefuna @jayhemz]

NYSC is not an educational institution. It's literally "...Service Corps."

If you want to work on Education, go and finetune the curriculum and infrastructure in dilapidated educational institutions.

It's actually worrying that you think this way.

[Johnmark Obiefuna @jayhemz]

Scrapped military drills? So everyone will go to SAED classes from morning till night? There's only one way this ends.

[Favour Y. @FavourYusuf1]

Anybody that has sat through SAED and still believes in the ability of the Nigerian state to actually pass any sort of meaningful knowledge at scale that will actually make a difference in your life via NYSC…

Well, I await your realisation

[Hrothgär @sz_josh1]

you enter office comot subsidy first day, change national anthem, come dey reform nysc

na side quests you come fulfil or wetin?

[Moe @Mochievous]

I thought coastal road also meant that you’ll see the coast as you drive through it. Because tell me why the land on the coastal setback is being sold and developed on. Horrid looking structure by the way

[Everest @novieverest]

The media isn't talking about the case of Femi Gbajabiamila.
Nigerians are not even aware of such a grave issue.
How was ₦1.3b released to a non-existent agency?

The fraud under Tinubu is beyond the human comprehension.

[Johnmark Obiefuna @jayhemz]

I have a theory that Nigerian elders are covertly hellbent on destroying the futures of the younger generation with irrelevancies by just promoting activity without productivity.

Because tell me how you're 60+ years old and your contribution to the Nation is to say young graduates should come and learn to code in 6 weeks NYSC camp.

What's really wrong with that generation?

[Ife Dada @IfeDada2]

Nigeria already struggles to fund NYSC for 3 weeks and it’s evident with the type of food given at camp, hostels people stay in and much more!

Now you’re increasing it for 6 weeks?? You mean SAED lectures for 5 hours for 6 weeks???

[Ab. @olaoluwajedalo]

If you have to teach university graduates digital and career skills, don’t you think it’s an indictment of the quality of the educational system?

[Elnathan John @elnathan_john]

One of the reasons I stopped seriously writing satire is that I came to my own Peter Cook moment. Cook, the brightest of the British satire boom, watched the movement he helped build curdle into something he no longer recognized as resistance. He had once joked that his comedy club was modelled on the Berlin cabarets that did so much to stop the rise of Hitler — a joke that contained, even then, at least some admission of satire’s limits. By the mid-1960s, the joke had stopped being funny even to him. He said Britain was sinking, giggling into the sea. It was drowning in its own laughter, amused to the very end, entertained all the way to death.

There’s a sketch he wrote, less quoted than the line itself, where a group of young journalists who have sold their souls to a newspaper proprietor console themselves by sniggering at him behind their hands at his cocktail parties. A snigger here, a snigger there, one of them says, as if it adds up to something. It doesn’t.

It is important that he implies that a snigger isn’t a form of protest. It is what one turns to when one lacks the courage, or the institutional standing, or the political opening, to do anything else. It replaces the fight rather than starting one.

I had a very successful column, as well as multiple series in different satirical styles, from the How To series (which became a book), to my love letters to General Buhari. I enjoyed the task, and saw myself aspiring to be an heir to satirists like Peter Enahoro (Peter Pan) who wrote How To Be a Nigerian in the 1960s. But like Cook, I also saw that Nigerians were sinking giggling into the sea. I felt and still feel complicit in the facetious distractions and the trivialisation of crimes and dysfunction so bad Nigeria could be a ravaged war zone without any order or functional institutions. I always say that the effectiveness of satire is directly proportional to the ability of a society to feel shame. Nigeria is a post shame society. As we say, you cannot shame the shameless. What good is mockery of power when power is impervious to mockery? Where the mirror that you hold up to power is shattered beyond repair?

And so if you ask, when you criticise Nigerians making jokes at a time when the country is sinking, when people die daily at rates worthy of a war torn country, did you not do the same thing by writing a book of satire, the above is part of my response. I could of course try to distinguish my work from the banal humor in the skits that respond to the criminal actions and inaction of politicians, but that would be the easy answer.

Nigeria is at such a dangerous point that there is nothing to laugh about, even if the laughter directly mocks power.

[👑S.A.L.A.K.O🕊 @UnkleAyo]

Have you people seen this?

Students who went to take their NECO exams got abducted from the exam hall?

This happened in Borno and I hope it gets the same media outrage as Oyo's.

This is unfortunate.