Daniel Somoano

[Football on TNT Sports @footballontnt]

The goal that sealed the victory for Leeds in the EE Disability FA Cup - Powerchair Final 🏆

📺 TNT Sports and HBO Max

[Mike @hammerito]

“Is Butterbean okay?”

[Dan Hightower @Danhightower]

Daycare calls me. That's never good.

For them.

Daycare: "your son hurt his elbow and won't move his arm. Can you come take him to a doctor's office?"

Me (ex Special Forces Medic): "A real doctor is on the way to you now. I am 6 mikes out. Alert me of status changes."

I arrive at daycare. I locate the patient. 21 month old male. Scene is not safe. I drag the patient to cover and concealment behind a seesaw, away from the other small terrorists in the AO.

I begin my assessment. Blood sweep negative for massive hemorrhage. Mental status: conscious and verbal but confused (answers "dada" when asked for blood type). One breath every 2 seconds. Bilateral rise and fall of the chest. Strong carotid pulse, strong bilat radial pulse.

Teeth and tongue intact no blood no mucus no dip or foreign objects. Eyes PERRLA, negative JVD/trach deviation, C-spine intact upon palpation.

Heart sounds strong upon auscultation. Percussion negative for hemo-T. Abdominal quads normal upon palpation. Pelvis negative for book sign.

Arms and legs negative for crepitus. However, Patient indicates discomfort in right arm upon palpation and supination/flexion of the elbow.

Nursemaid's elbow.

I begin interventions. Supination/flexion technique complete at 1215. Palpable clunk on successful reduction. I write the time on his chest in Sharpie. I tape a popsicle to his hand and tell the patient to suck but do not bite/chew. I write "1 x popsicle (10g sugar)" on his chest in Sharpie.

I reassess the patient after performing interventions then package the patient for handoff to daycare/higher level of care. I yell at daycare over the Blackhawk in my head: "21 month old male!!! Nursemaids elbow!!! Treated with supination/flexion technique at 1215!!! Patient has 1 x popsicle onboard!!"

Daycare: "sir please leave."

Me: "you should have called my wife."

[Dr. Robert King @kingbtc]

me: "fuck yeah it finally came"

her: "what did you ord-"

[Daniel Somoano @YiddishYeti]

#ShuffleGods

[President-Elect Toguro @PresidentToguro]

"The Plan? Stay poor forever so we can have lifetime passes to look at fish.”

[Alan Saunders @ASaunders_PGH]

The Pittsburgh Zoo is clearly in win-now mode.

[Netflix Is A Joke @NetflixIsAJoke]

💉💉💉 #TheRoastofKevinHart

[levy @1929stockcrash]

every sentence of this synopsis made me say “oh” in a new way. what is happening with book publishing

[COOLEE BRAVO @ItalianFiesta]

wtf lmaoo

[Hiyeroglif @hiyeroglifx]

İşin hilesi buymuş 🪄

[Jake Schwall @jake_schwall]

The smooth fake ejection to fixing his hat is a hall of fame moment by this ump

[The White House @WhiteHouse]

UNDEFEATED.

[Big Tom Callahan🇺🇸 @CallahanAutoCo]

“Sure, I’ve been called a xenophobe, but the truth is, I’m not…

I honestly just feel that America is the best country and the other countries aren’t as good. That used to be called patriotism.”

-Kenny Powers

[Sandy Petersen 🪔 @SandyofCthulhu]

This is how it works.

[The White House @WhiteHouse]

Touchdown

[SHAWN THE MUPPET'S NAME IS MONSTER @ShawnNOrlando]

Probably cooking hot dogs on my own personal grill in Disney Springs somewhere

[Alex Feinberg @Alexfeinberg]

In the Minor Leagues, we made $1,100 per month

The OGs of frugal eating were my Dominican teammates

Wilin Rosario would bring a Crock Pot and a cooler full of meat on road trips and every day they would eat 2 large meals that contained a diabetic heap of white rice and either chicken or sausage

Arroz con pollo or arroz con salchicha. I’d occasionally eat with them and it tasted good

It cost them about $6/day and at the end of every month they had hundreds of dollars to blow on Ed Hardy gear at Ross and they still had money left over to send home to their families

[Mark Brooks @markbrooks]

Marco Rubio finding out he has to lead an assault on Greenland

[LaughBreak: Dad Jokes ‘N More @MediocreJoker85]

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood drive. “What are your blood types?” the nurse asks.

The rabbit replies, “I think I'm a type O.”