Zachary Besserman

[Zachary Besserman @ZacBesserman]

There’s an older couple sitting outside next door grilling and sitting on their bench glider laughing and honestly that’s my endgame.

[Zachary Besserman @ZacBesserman]

I thumb wrestled another grown ass man last night because he said “when water touches water the water gets more wet.” Fight the good fight, people.

[Zachary Besserman @ZacBesserman]

@_dc56 Shut up, you whiny bitch.

[Michael Gary Scott @TobyHater]

When the son of the deposed King of Nigeria emails you directly asking for help, you help. His father ran the freakin country ok?

[Zachary Besserman @ZacBesserman]

Staunton IL just a bunch of of crackheads.

[Zachary Besserman @ZacBesserman]

I want an ex wife. Is that weird?

[Zachary Besserman @ZacBesserman]

When Hank Hill said “I don’t have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem” I felt that shit.

[Zachary Besserman @ZacBesserman]

Hope grows in a dump.

[Zachary Besserman @ZacBesserman]

Calories don’t count on wing day.

[Zachary Besserman @ZacBesserman]

Pippity poppity give ‘em the zoppity.

[Zachary Besserman @ZacBesserman]

We need a new plague.

[Zachary Besserman @ZacBesserman]

My playlist just went from Trick Daddy to John Denver and I ain’t even mad.

[Michael Gary Scott @TobyHater]

Monkey see. Monkey do. Monkey pee all over you.

[Michael Gary Scott, Dunder Mifflin (Parody) @Da_MichaelScott]

Hi. I'm Date Mike. Nice to meet me. How do you like your eggs in the morning?

[Sami Jo @iamsam_ranger]

Forever stuck between treat people how you want to be treated and treat people how they treat you

[Zachary Besserman @ZacBesserman]

I like how even Zordon knows that “teenagers with attitude” will be more of a challenge for evil space monsters to fight rather than literally anyone else.

[Zachary Besserman @ZacBesserman]

I’m convinced every lunatic in the state makes a trip to this hospital at least once a day for no reason.

[Michael Gary Scott @TobyHater]

I'm going through a little bit of a rough patch. The whole year, actually.

[Zachary Besserman @ZacBesserman]

Every word out of your mouth is like the squawk of an ugly pelican.

[Zachary Besserman @ZacBesserman]

The demon drink got me again, folks.