Zach Boyce

Comedian

[Zach Boyce @ZachDatAssUp]

Why does every white dude in my hometown look like ol' boy that Magneto sucked the metal out of in X2: X-Men United

[Zach Boyce @ZachDatAssUp]

@aaron_klopfer @mpbradfo @activesandal @themikeokeefe When we'd drive to K-zoo for shows one of the absolute joys of my whole ass life was stopping at Sweetwater at like 1am on the way back. I will 1000% participate in this expedition for top tier yeast donuts🙏🏾

[Zach Boyce @ZachDatAssUp]

The main thing I miss about dating another POC is that when we went out to eat we were BOTH treated poorly

[Zach Boyce @ZachDatAssUp]

@laeloshag I got doodoo'd on once over there😞

[Zach Boyce @ZachDatAssUp]

Does everyone else take the paper cup left after eating a muffin/cupcake and gnaw on it like chewin tobaccy or am I the only real nigga here?

[Zach Boyce @ZachDatAssUp]

#dccomics really gonna try and tell us a guy whose super power is prep time doesn't go down on ppl🤦🏾‍♂️

[Losso @davelossogoofs]

🌭

[Zach Boyce @ZachDatAssUp]

This is how Dunkin' makes your coffee if you're lightskinned fml🤦🏾‍♂️

[Zach Boyce @ZachDatAssUp]

@olarvia @KirkmanBrandon I was gassed tf up from the first two rounds then u came in and this happened

[Zach Boyce @ZachDatAssUp]

Is this what it feels like to leave a toxic relationship but y'all live together and have two months left on your lease

[Zach Boyce @ZachDatAssUp]

Chicago is the 90's Bulls of having rats

[ABC 7 Chicago @ABC7Chicago]

Chicago was ranked the "rattiest city" by Orkin pest control for the 6th straight year.​ https://t.co/SVATUeLsOt

[Zach Boyce @ZachDatAssUp]

The only thing anime niggas and hotep niggas agree on

[zach reinert @zachreinert0]

Cops be like “I can’t be racist, my wife’s eye is black”

[Zach Boyce @ZachDatAssUp]

When you owe someone $20 and they say they're coming by tonight to pick it up

[Zach Boyce @ZachDatAssUp]

Black folks: "You're terrorizing us."

White ppl:

[COLiN BURGESS @Colinoscopy]

made a Rube Goldberg machine

[Zach Boyce @ZachDatAssUp]

Grocery store workers being heroes means using self-checkout is stolen valor

[Zach Boyce @ZachDatAssUp]

I'm not the funniest person at my day job anymore gonna get a part time job to workshop and hopefully I'll be back to headlining by Fall🙏

[Zach Boyce @ZachDatAssUp]

@carolinetwyman @sablaah @NaomiSpungen @Twyguy95 @olarvia @whalenlucia