Zans dreams

My dreams

[Zans dreams @ZansDreams]

Sex tourism in the Alps. I was texting Nigella on a flip phone

[Zans dreams @ZansDreams]

Auditioned three old ladies to cut my hair

[Zans dreams @ZansDreams]

Middle school best friend and I had to hide two bodies in trunk of our car—were mostly concerned with our mothers finding them, which they did. Someone justified the deaths: “if you live less, then you have to relive less.”

[Zans dreams @ZansDreams]

They doubled the price of Negronis

[Zans dreams @ZansDreams]

I was a baseball and you were a mitt catching me

[Zans dreams @ZansDreams]

My bf and I had a threesome with a piece of thin brown string

[Zans dreams @ZansDreams]

First day of school. Effie was going there now and I showed her our classroom : her desk, cubby holes. Then we walked to the BBQ on the Wiese and all of my old friends were there, old enemies too, and my dead pets, but healthy as ever, trotting around and talking to parents.

[Zans dreams @ZansDreams]

Eileen Kelly kept calling Palestine “Palestinia”

[Zans dreams @ZansDreams]

My breath was so bad that Dean Kissick visibly flinched. Then I found a woman’s Amex on the ground and was peer pressured into tracking her down and returning it.

[Zans dreams @ZansDreams]

Ezra Marcus and I were in a new Jonathan Glazer movie gone horribly wrong

[Zans dreams @ZansDreams]

Tristan was evil

[Zans dreams @ZansDreams]

Ex bf was in new season of Euphoria

[Zans dreams @ZansDreams]

I had liver cancer and my parents were hiding it from me

[Zans dreams @ZansDreams]

Werner Herzog came over for dinner and was speaking German with my father. He didn’t like my father very much, and I was embarrassed because my dad was pandering to him & hogging the conversation. The whole time I wore a hard, skin-like face mask that flaked off the more I spoke

[Zans dreams @ZansDreams]

Cottage cheese (low fat) dripping from my father’s mouth

[Zans dreams @ZansDreams]

I was trying to wash my filthy cream-colored scarf-rag that I got in Morocco and haven’t been able to leave the house without, in an attempt to make it pure white again

[Zans dreams @ZansDreams]

On the Amtrak to Providence at sunset. Stole off to a Middle Eastern-esque war, heavily armed. Won. Gained the advantage over a school bus. My love life was snatched.

[Zans dreams @ZansDreams]

My soul mate appeared and we had a beautiful rainy life together and then one day disappeared

[Zans dreams @ZansDreams]

@Uber_Support Cool

[Zans dreams @ZansDreams]

Raped by Uber driver (blue Toyota Camry), then he dropped me off at Michael’s (arts and crafts store)

[Zans dreams @ZansDreams]

Zadie edited my story