just pizza🍕

Chubby nerd dad.

[just pizza🍕 @ZombieJP]

Designer: I don't know, guys. I think this design REALLY looks like a-
Corporate bigwig: Just do it, Melissa! We don't pay you to think.

[just pizza🍕 @ZombieJP]

In 2017, I paid Cards Against Humanity to protect a pristine plot of border land from Trump’s racist wall. But then an even richer, more racist billionaire—Elon Musk—stole my land and dumped his shit all over it. @ElonMusk owes me $100. #ElonOwesMe100Bucks https://t.co/nZHjYSAgFK

[Meletrix @meletrix]

[GB Live] Zoom65 V3 E-White🏖

Offical Web: https://t.co/YeXeYgtTBi

[Vendors List]

-US
@CannonKeys
@MKeyboards
@keebsforall
DangKeebs:https://t.co/vZvyzZqddz
TINYStore

-CA
https://t.co/cJRy1V32mj:https://t.co/9r1trBRd7E
@deskhero_ca

[just pizza🍕 @ZombieJP]

Today I watched my son’s soul leave his body as I sang ‘Glory of Love’ loudly in the grocery store while using a can of Annie’s Star Soup as a microphone.

[just pizza🍕 @ZombieJP]

@BourbonBeard Jake, I can’t discuss this movie with you any further. I don’t want to spend the whole day a blubbering mess. If you’ll excuse me I’m going to go watch something with explosions.

[just pizza🍕 @ZombieJP]

Not sure why I suggested watching Onward with my boys when I know damn well that the end levels me.

[just pizza🍕 @ZombieJP]

@BourbonBeard They trick you into thinking it’s about missing the dad, then at the end they do a switcheroo and reveal it’s actually about brothers and HOLY SHIT I’M CRYING AGAIN!

[just pizza🍕 @ZombieJP]

Hey @Jon_Favreau and @Rodriguez! If you need an older version of @Tem_Morrison to play #BobaFett for #TheBookOfBobaFett my father is available!

[just pizza🍕 @ZombieJP]

Just occurred in our house…

Me: Okay, I’m heading upstairs for an ol’ ‘shit, shower, and shave.’

6-year-old son: The old shit, shower-

Me: No! Don’t repeat what I say!

6-year-old son: Why?

Me: Because you don’t shave.

[just pizza🍕 @ZombieJP]

My 6-year-old’s favorite song is “Ice, Ice Baby” playing out of a novelty snowman.

[just pizza🍕 @ZombieJP]

@NealHolman JFC. I found myself getting pretty emotional while reading this. As a 41 year old father of two boys this hit pretty close to home for me. So glad you’re alright, dude.

[just pizza🍕 @ZombieJP]

The best part of having to wear masks to concerts is that the younger people can’t see you yawning.

[just pizza🍕 @ZombieJP]

Me: Man, Facebook is pretty evil. I should delete my account.

Every website I enjoy: Join our new Facebook group for free shit!

[just pizza🍕 @ZombieJP]

@bobafettfanclub Mine is in the mail. I hope it fits my enormous melon 😩

[just pizza🍕 @ZombieJP]

@bobafettfanclub Would you guys ever make an enamel pin? Now that it’s getting colder I need a cool BFFC pin for my winter jacket! Doesn’t have to be too fancy! Just the helmet and the BFFC logo! TAKE MY MONEY!

[just pizza🍕 @ZombieJP]

@the_funhilde HELL YEAH, WE’D HANG OUT IF WE WERR IN THE SAME TOWN! I would love to see our gremlins play together!

[just pizza🍕 @ZombieJP]

My love language is fart sounds.

[just pizza🍕 @ZombieJP]

@korosense0417 Bummer. Good luck! I’ll let you know if I do any more!

[just pizza🍕 @ZombieJP]

@korosense0417 Are you awake?

[just pizza🍕 @ZombieJP]

@korosense0417 Any shinys?!

[just pizza🍕 @ZombieJP]

@korosense0417 Congrats 🤣