Kit

Avi by @shapesincommon. Book lover, gamer, cat wrangler, autoimmune fighter. Tweets:

[Kit @Zombie_Kitv2]

Startled by the sound of my own washing machine, yet convinced I'd be a badass in any apocalypse.

[Kit @Zombie_Kitv2]

Nothing like a call from a specialist the Monday morning after a holiday weekend saying “she wants you to get this ultrasound IMMEDIATELY “ to put some pep in your step.

[Wrong Bot @yrwrong]

Everything you know about Steve Perry is wrong.

[Kit @Zombie_Kitv2]

A lime shortage? Really?

[Farah Miller @farahlearned]

Is it omicron or delta or your period or a cold or flu or allergies or anxiety or long covid or perimenopause or food poisoning or migraine or a tumor (“it’s not a tumor”) or PTSD or parenting is just so hard lolol or too much sitting and screen time and stress or IS IT COVID or

['ti Reynard @tiReynard]

Peaceful Solstice Eve to All

✨🎄✨

[Kit @Zombie_Kitv2]

No matter how good the hotel bed is, there’s nothing like climbing back in my own bed that first night home.

[Marly @VerbsRProudest]

That’s a modern thing. You could take out the tense “Should I cut the red wire or the blue wire?” scene in any movie & substitute the person having to get CAPTCHA right on the first try or else & my anxiety level would be even worse.

[Benny 'Sea Bass' Rollins @citizenkawala]

I get about 800 likes.

It takes me 700 tweets. But I get em.

[Kit @Zombie_Kitv2]

@HatfieldAnne When I was little I got in trouble for dancing the can-can every time I had to stand around. Apparently it’s inappropriate for a 9 year old. And “but I saw it in a movie” is no excuse.

[Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO]

All French women dance the can-can. More French facts as I get them.

[Benny 'Sea Bass' Rollins @citizenkawala]

I enjoy very little, to be perfectly frank with you. Since coming out of of lockdown, I don't go anywhere. I literally only go to gym and to work. That's all it took to make me happy.

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

Will you people get out of my way what is your problem

[Benny 'Sea Bass' Rollins @citizenkawala]

New guy at work is in his 20s. I don't understand a single God damn fuckin thing he is talking about.

[Kit @Zombie_Kitv2]

I don’t upgrade phones until the old one is useless. Soooo every time I get a new phone it’s multiple gens ahead of my last phone. There’s always new things they do that freak me out and make me think I broke my new phone.

[Kit @Zombie_Kitv2]

I have discovered with my mom living here that I hate repeating myself more than just about anything. Projectile vomit or repeat myself? Hold my mop. Stub my toe or repeat myself? Sorry little pig.

[Kit @Zombie_Kitv2]

COCOA BEACH BABY!

[Trey @treydayway]

They only reward good work with more work and wonder why people are tired

[MykeIsNotHere @MykeLeTauris]

Not buying gifts this year. Everyone is getting homemade pasta, a bottle of my orgeat liqueur and a baby blanket.

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

Christmas is my favorite time of year because it's when me and my brother get together and trade identical $25 Home Depot gift cards