Mike Anzalone

Former child, lazy perfectionist

[Mike Anzalone @Zontastic]

Wait for it....

[GregGutfeld @greggutfeld]

On Labor Day a man, Andrew Wimsatt, was viciously murdered in an Austin Park - in an attempted beheading. This creep didn't give two shits about it.

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

Aide Pushes Cart Through Halls Of Congress Yelling 'Bring Out Your Dead!' https://t.co/SZrEqsl1J3

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

No One Notices As Entire Cast Of 'The View' Replaced With Shrieking Feral Pigs https://t.co/qOabXsloS7

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

Hawaiian Newlyweds Head Off To Luxurious Honeymoon In Iowa https://t.co/YVjlQzlmnD

[Bridget Phetasy @BridgetPhetasy]

It's funny because these women thought she was talking about their stuff, but she was actually talking about sports, which is something men do.

[Angry Cops @AngryCops]

Award for the most tone deaf business idea ever. “9/11 shakes” they call one the “stair climber!” - naming a shake after fireman climbing to their death in an attempt to save lives is so obviously retarded. Who owns this business, Saudi Arabia?

[Mike Anzalone @Zontastic]

@StamAdvocate Anyone who watches @News12CT for 5 seconds can tell there is no local news, unless you live in New York. Kind of like if you subscribe to the @StamAdvocate you get one local story a day, maybe.

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

Canadian Man Too Polite To Tell Doctor He Doesn't Want To Be Euthanized https://t.co/PShHx22COj

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

Black, White Americans Join Hands Around Common Cause Of Launching Journalists Into The Sun https://t.co/nzUVyhKzKI

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

Bugs Bunny Declares For WNBA Draft https://t.co/86UQgmyiOj

[vittorio @IterIntellectus]

this is actually insane
the entire purpose of academia is the pursuit of truth.
nothing should supersede truth. otherwise it's literally indoctrination

yet only 43% of female psychology professors said truth should come first. even among men, barely two thirds did. these people should genuinely be barred from ever teaching students

once "equity" becomes a reason to lie, academia has already failed at the one thing it exists to do

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

Liberal White Women Stand Weeping Outside Court Trying Jack The Ripper https://t.co/hcaEb65irl

[Mike Anzalone @Zontastic]

@News12CT So what the hell are we supposed to do about getting local news now? 🤬 Tell your @Optimum overlords this is unacceptable or give us back all the other CT news channels

[cinesthetic. @TheCinesthetic]

The way PREDATOR (1987) rolls its end credits like a feel-good sitcom will never stop being funny.

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

"Are you working hard or hardly working?" https://t.co/SQHxBcmGbD

[Mike Anzalone @Zontastic]

@Fat_Electrician You must have union experience

[Mike Anzalone @Zontastic]

France v Spain. Winner gets Andorra

[GregGutfeld @greggutfeld]

this is a reversal of The Usual Suspects. here - as their case for Platner implodes under known crimes - the loathsome media attempts to reveal itself as a seemingly weak, but honest story teller. but they fabricated the whole narrative.

[Mike Anzalone @Zontastic]

Loser

[Claude Taylor @TrueFactsStated]

I’m a U.S. citizen who will be rooting for Belgium tonight. Probably just me.