Jerry Seinfeld

don’t let your girl see my tweets she’ll probably fall in love with me aha

[Jerry Seinfeld @_2Shainz]

Why have alex from target when you can have Shane from Palios?

[Jerry Seinfeld @_2Shainz]

Hey dude that’s a sick decepticon sticker on your car. I bet a decepticon couldn’t wait to turn themselves into a 2015 Chevy Malibu.

[Jerry Seinfeld @_2Shainz]

@greekjonsnow1 I think they do

[Jerry Seinfeld @_2Shainz]

@ESPNPR @SportsCenter @CollegeGameDay @PatrickMahomes @espn Fuck you ESPN

[Jerry Seinfeld @_2Shainz]

@jdpickell Bro wants his heisman bet to cash so bad

[Jerry Seinfeld @_2Shainz]

@CFBONFOX @TexasFootball @OhioStateFB Yall are ruining college football I hate you

[Jerry Seinfeld @_2Shainz]

@CFBRep @FBI, @CFBONFOX is a terrorist organization and the #1 threat to our democracy

[Jerry Seinfeld @_2Shainz]

@JoelKlattShow @joelklatt Hey Joel. Just want to say that I think big noon kickoff is destroying college football. Thanks.

[Jerry Seinfeld @_2Shainz]

Show SGA highlight without him stiff arming the defender challenge

[Jerry Seinfeld @_2Shainz]

@JakeStateFarm @StateFarm I’m gettin real sick of your shit Jake

[Jerry Seinfeld @_2Shainz]

I don’t think I can be mad eating enchiladas

[Stef. | Content + Marketing Director 👨🏾‍💻🛠 @STEFisDOPE]

Gotta be specific. He could be referring to a random Mexican.

Now you mad af, eating enchiladas.

[Jerry Seinfeld @_2Shainz]

What if she doesn’t understand that it’s impossible to have a conversation without a conversation pit.

[𝓝. @NuneStarkie]

Marriage is scary cuz what if he thinks his opinion matters when it comes to the interior design of our home

[Jerry Seinfeld @_2Shainz]

My 5 year old son just turned to me and said “men who have to use the restroom on a 3 hr flight should have their man card revoked”

I agree son. I agree.

[Jerry Seinfeld @_2Shainz]

@WellsFargo did you know that many of your employees are doing this? You can’t have this kind of beta energy at your subpar bank. These people need to be fired immediately.

[Jerry Seinfeld @_2Shainz]

If you use the elevator to go up or down 1 floor you are the worst

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

“Who’s crying now Mother Fucker”

Luka owns Minnesota

[Jerry Seinfeld @_2Shainz]

@pahn00 I tried to get her in a Seinfeld episode where she gets with kramer but she said she only had eyes for the Costanzas of the world

[Jerry Seinfeld @_2Shainz]

@pahn00 You mean 1991 Jennifer Connelly

[Jerry Seinfeld @_2Shainz]

@JJWatt No

[Jerry Seinfeld @_2Shainz]

Mmmm I love cinderzart cheese

[Pokes Uni Watch @PokesUniWatch]

Today was absolutely incredible! #GoPokes