David Edwin

I'm a writer, funny guy, builder who has seen a bear three times. Not counting zoos. Zoos are how the frail see bears.

[David Edwin @_DavidEdwin]

What pisses me off about the mainstream media today is they don't yell "What a scoop!" then sprint to a row of pay phones anymore.

[David Edwin @_DavidEdwin]

@DanCrenshawTX You’re as big of a piece of shit as any democrat. I’m the caretaker of three folks in their 80s.

These absurd prices affect everyone.

“You don’t like how we’ve done a shitty job? I guess you’re a communist.”

Or maybe you’ve always been paid for cunt larping as a real man.

[David Edwin @_DavidEdwin]

When Starbucks makes its regular coffee is the poop already in the pot before they brew it or do they stir it in after?

[David Edwin @_DavidEdwin]

@AldiUSA theres a damn piece of straw baked into my spinach wrap. These are for humans to eat, correct?

[David Edwin @_DavidEdwin]

@nicksortor @greggutfeld No one thought this would shut anyone down. Whoever did this wants everybody radicalized and everybody fighting.

[David Edwin @_DavidEdwin]

@DrEliDavid @DouglasKMurray Ive never been to Wuhan. I better believe China when they said covid came from a wet market.

[David Edwin @_DavidEdwin]

My favorite part of shopping at @AldiUSA is never knowing if I have to make another stop because they are entirely out of bread on a Saturday afternoon.

[David Edwin @_DavidEdwin]

@elonmusk The ability exists for every Senator to poll their constituents directly via X regarding favor of votes for legislation and appointments. If they do not vote accordingly they must address/justify their choice or face admonishment or worse from their constituency.

[David Edwin @_DavidEdwin]

@DOGE We have the ability for every Senator to poll their constituents directly via X regarding favor of votes for legislation and appointments. If they do not vote accordingly they must address and justify their choice or face admonishment or worse from their constituency.

[David Edwin @_DavidEdwin]

@Costco The bags for the Rot. chicken suck. They suck so so bad.

Are you ok? I’m worried. Usually you don’t suck. But this really really sucks.

[David Edwin @_DavidEdwin]

@krassenstein One time I got to see a giraffe give birth at the zoo and despite that you still may be the biggest twat Ive ever seen.

[David Edwin @_DavidEdwin]

Kamala answers questions the way food blogs tell me recipes.

“How do I make chili mac?”

“The year was 1987, mom would come home from the gas company and dad was on second shift at the business factory, it was a school night and dinner was scarce……”

[David Edwin @_DavidEdwin]

@elonmusk @fema These organizations hinder citizens from solving problems to hide the truth that these organizations suck at solving problems.

[David Edwin @_DavidEdwin]

@elonmusk @fema Don’t worry FEMA has enough money to waste on shit like this to make you believe theyre not wasting money.

[David Edwin @_DavidEdwin]

Walz spent half the debate frantically writing a final Jeopardy question.

[David Edwin @_DavidEdwin]

@foofighters @WUTangKids So you’re upset he used your song to introduce the guy that wants to help end the wars happening right now and fight chronic illness and childhood disease.

You may not be bad guys, but you’re sure as shit not the good guys.

[David Edwin @_DavidEdwin]

@KeithOlbermann @RobertKennedyJr Haha. You’re a twat dude.

[David Edwin @_DavidEdwin]

@mmpadellan She was the VP of the adminstration that signed legislation making it ILLEGAL for railworkers to strike.

https://t.co/yNonC4GAdS

[David Edwin @_DavidEdwin]

@TimRunsHisMouth

[David Edwin @_DavidEdwin]

Does each @HomeDepot have it's own music playlist or are all the people in the country buying screws and grass seed listening to Fine Young Cannibals right now?

[David Edwin @_DavidEdwin]

@whoisgreggarcia Dude I just watched Sprung. It was the the best show I've seen in a decade.

And not just because you name dropped my home town.

It was inspirational good.