kevjom

opinions are my own.

[kevjom @_KevinJom]

@Erickschultz11 @WhileTravelling @AnthropicAI tbh I stopped after reading the first sentence cuz it sounded too AI to me lol.

[kevjom @_KevinJom]

@Erickschultz11 @WhileTravelling @AnthropicAI This sounds AI to me

[kevjom @_KevinJom]

@lahcim2000 @gothburz I hope it's not Microsoft Teams cuz that sucks ass

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

I am a Microsoft security architect.

In 1994, researchers discovered RC4 was fundamentally broken.

We made it the default cipher in Windows anyway.

By 2000, every machine on Earth was running it.

We called it "battle-tested."

Technically true. It lost every battle.

In 2013, more researchers confirmed it was still broken.

We published a knowledge base article thanking them for their passion.

In 2015, the entire industry formally deprecated it.

We kept it enabled by default.

Compatibility is more important than security.

Security is just compatibility with not being hacked.

Hospitals ran their patient records through it.

Banks authenticated their transactions with it.

Fortune 500 companies trusted their crown jewels to it.

The Ascension breach happened. 5.6 million patient records. 140 hospitals offline.

Ransomware walked through our cipher like it wasn't there.

It basically wasn't.

Senator Wyden called it "gross cybersecurity negligence."

He demanded an FTC investigation.

We released a statement thanking him for his continued partnership.

After 26 years of careful consideration, we've made a decision.

We're going to disable RC4 by default.

In mid-2026.

We're giving everyone 18 months notice.

Because we believe in thoughtful transitions.

We've been thoughtfully transitioning since the Clinton administration.

Two Clintons could have run for president in the time we've been "evaluating options."

Some things are just hard to kill off.

Like a legacy cipher.

Or institutional momentum.

Or the phrase "we take security seriously."

We do take it seriously.

We just don't take it urgently.

Urgency is for startups.

We're a mature organization.

We mature our vulnerabilities like fine wine.

26 years.

That's not negligence.

That's commitment.

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[kevjom @_KevinJom]

There is always one mf that doesn't press ready until the last second #fc26 #rush

[kevjom @_KevinJom]

@EASPORTSFC get your shit together pls, it's Friday

[Paul Pierce @paulpierce34]

Where the 🤡🤡🤡🤡s at today can’t wait to here from yall lmao

[kevjom @_KevinJom]

LFG

[Celtics on NBC Sports Boston @NBCSCeltics]

mood.

[Boston Celtics @celtics]

WHERE MY ROAD DOGS AT 🗣🗣🗣

[Boston Celtics @celtics]

President Stevens 🫡

Congrats Brad on being named @NBA Basketball Executive of the Year

[二爷Alex @Alex8282019]

尊重这个东西是相互的。我们尊重自己，就要把自己当人看；尊重别人，就要把别人当人看。不存在你当我“支人支语”，我还得夸你“民主之光”的情况。狂妄自大和自轻自贱本质是一样的。懂得做人的基本操守是彼此尊重的前提。这个没什么好讨论的。

[kevjom @_KevinJom]

@UTSources CR7?

[kevjom @_KevinJom]

@_gurupreet be honest which one

[I Am Devloper @iamdevloper]

Honest

[kevjom @_KevinJom]

@isjanosnba @Raptors The Celtics legend is speak @Raptors is listrn

[kevjom @_KevinJom]

Cooking

[NBA @NBA]

Jaylen Brown caught FIRE in the 1st half 🔥

27 PTS
9/14 FGM
7/9 3PM

📺 BOS/WAS - Live on the NBA App: https://t.co/htyakZeFve

[kevjom @_KevinJom]

@AlexChrisRich @isjanosnba @MiamiHEAT Last year is last year, this year is cooking heat my friend, enjoy full perform from Celtics best team most titles ok

[kevjom @_KevinJom]

@_gurupreet @isjanosnba Go go, is so ready

[kevjom @_KevinJom]

@isjanosnba is on fire this year, loving it, @_gurupreet don't be a wizard fan ok? Is no fun

[Janos @isjanosnba]

hi @WashWizards is big crush come for you from NBA #CELTICS . You are:,Full suck team. What.

Thank you is janos .

[Celtics on NBC Sports Boston @NBCSCeltics]

JRUE HOLIDAY SAID NOT TODAY 🚫🚫🚫