Mackenzie Moore

Badger in Chicago | Staff writer @ Sports Riot, dinkin’ around @slugreport, mother of The Beet @dailycardinal, guitar pickin’ little scamp 🦦 🦡

[Mackenzie Moore @_Mack_Moore]

Framing my @dailycardinal outgoing editor award > framing my actual college degree

[Mackenzie Moore @_Mack_Moore]

Referring to transit as “SRO” so I feel like I’m heading to a fun event instead of a packed CTA bus

[Mackenzie Moore @_Mack_Moore]

I can’t help but feel somewhat responsible for Jane Goodall’s death

[The Slug Report @SlugReport]

“We were going to do this back in the '60s, but then Jane Goodall traveled to Tanzania and saved your parasitic asses,” said Banjo, a chimp representing Rwanda.

Article: https://t.co/ZcSWdwWd0C
#satire #JaneGoodall

[Mackenzie Moore @_Mack_Moore]

@DrinkBozo I live inside of a Subway sandwich now because it was cheaper than my Chicago apartment

[Mackenzie Moore @_Mack_Moore]

Can Mark Johnson coach football too?

[GL @gldivittorio]

John Oliver get behind me

[Mackenzie Moore @_Mack_Moore]

@DrinkBozo They should only play places with names like “The Annex”

[The Slug Report @SlugReport]

“They’re teaching him things I’ve never even heard before — why would I trust any of that garbage?” questioned Sanders, having read zero books since graduating high school in 2005.

Full article: https://t.co/LBaN4i9DD4
#satire #theonion #comedy #education

[Mackenzie Moore @_Mack_Moore]

@DrinkBozo I’m so sorry about what I have to do to you ☹️ 🔪

[Mackenzie Moore @_Mack_Moore]

Oh, I don’t know, just thinkin’ about Donald Driver’s teeth

[Mackenzie Moore @_Mack_Moore]

If my boss doesn’t laugh react to the gif I sent on Teams, I *will* be consulting HR

[Mackenzie Moore @_Mack_Moore]

One Carbliss in and I’m wishing a happy birthday to every applicable person within three degrees of me

[The Slug Report @SlugReport]

“They took me away from my family heirlooms!” complained the Grouch, referring to dirty diapers, plastic bottles full of dip spit, and a Doritos bag from 1972.

Full article: https://t.co/RI4TbQJSFL

#satire #pbs #sesamestreet #npr #netflix

[t✩ @yourg0ldteeth]

Breaking out the 14 piece patio set this weekend

[Mackenzie Moore @_Mack_Moore]

Extending Pride by eating vegetarian tacos and reading Andrea Gibson

[Mackenzie Moore @_Mack_Moore]

In my grandpa era

[Mackenzie Moore @_Mack_Moore]

The midwestern urge to experiment with pasta salad on a holiday weekend

[Mackenzie Moore @_Mack_Moore]

Apologies to the 85-year-old woman who saw my nipples this morning. My bad, Marilyn

[The Slug Report @SlugReport]

The Trump administration found the California Department of Education violated Title XI by allowing transgender girls to compete on girls sports teams.

The president criticized the state for not violating Title XI “in one of the fun ways.”

Article: https://t.co/OKzbxF63pJ

[Mackenzie Moore @_Mack_Moore]

Sitting at a lesbian bar with a smoke machine, disco lighting, and music blasting so I can sip a Miller Lite while I work on my writing deadline. I think I’m doing this correctly, right?