Alexa 🥸

I like to address uncomfortable topics with mildly inappropriate humor.

[Alexa 🥸 @_alexacy]

My heart is broken. https://t.co/XbjlUITleX

[Alexa 🥸 @_alexacy]

@AskTSA

[Alexa 🥸 @_alexacy]

@TSA if my twelve year old son and I are flying domestically (United flight), do I need his original birth certificate, or will a copy suffice?

[Alexa 🥸 @_alexacy]

@TSA if my twelve year old son and I are flying domestically (United flight), do I need his original birth certificate, or will a copy suffice?

[Alexa 🥸 @_alexacy]

I’m bored.
Send me $1, and I’ll tell you a joke.

Venmo: alexa-cy
Cashapp: alexacy

[Alexa 🥸 @_alexacy]

#NewProfilePic

[Alexa 🥸 @_alexacy]

@MindOfNathan Or is it..?

[Alexa 🥸 @_alexacy]

Shooting off fireworks while Canada suffocates is the most American thing to do.

[Alexa 🥸 @_alexacy]

@TheFrontBottoms I bought tickets for Red Rocks at presale through Soundrink, and just found out I won’t be able to make the trip to Denver (I live in CLE). I emailed them and they refuse to refund. Any chance you can help?

[Alexa 🥸 @_alexacy]

#GOGhimmighoul

[Pokémon GO @PokemonGoApp]

What’s in the box? 👀

You can RT and find out!

Roaming Form Gimmighoul can now be caught in #PokemonGO! We’re celebrating by giving away Gimmighoul-themed prizes!🥳🎉

To claim:

Follow us on Twitter
RT this post with #GOGimmighoul

You’ll get a code to redeem. Let’s GO!

[Alexa 🥸 @_alexacy]

I’ve just learned David Harbour is married to Lily Allen, and I’m jealous of both of them.

[Alexa 🥸 @_alexacy]

@treemass059 The hedgehog or burger joint?

[Nina Turner @ninaturner]

Poor people deserve to buy fresh meat. This shouldn’t be a controversial opinion.

[Alexa 🥸 @_alexacy]

Been in Florida for half an hour, and I’m fucking terrified of these roads already.

[Alexa 🥸 @_alexacy]

My therapist deserves all of the money I pay her, and then some.

[Alexa 🥸 @_alexacy]

My ADHD brain:

Columbus for a hockey tournament for the weekend, drive home, immediately fly to Florida to attend court in the morning, fly home after in time for birthday dinner with friends, attend robotics tournament the next morning, then out for birthday drinks with J.

[Jenny Lawson @TheBloggess]

They cancelled sex ed for all grades in our school district this year but I’m sure they’ll use that time for equally important life skills.

These kids may not know how to avoid pregnancy but they can square dance like a motherfucker.

[Alexa 🥸 @_alexacy]

$alexacy

[Cash App @CashApp]

We’re giving away $10,000 for #SpookyCashAppFriday as an offering to the spirits we conjured last night. To win a portion, you must follow @cashapp and QRT with your $cashtag.

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

the conservatives-only dating app has been released and the reviews are rolling in

[Alexa 🥸 @_alexacy]

@jessbby1 Kids are fucking creepy. M used to stand with his face an inch away from mine, completely silent, until I woke up. Terrifying.

[Alexa 🥸 @_alexacy]

@CollyCreative Same. Bouquet toss to signify who will be “next”? Absolutely not.

[Alexa 🥸 @_alexacy]

@MindOfNathan I’ve got books that’ll fuck a kid’s life up.