Alice Osborn

These bio boxes make me slightly anxious.

[Alice Osborn @_aliceosborn]

@JosephPera @BellHouseNY What was the brand of the sardines passed around last night? I had one and it was delicious.

[Alice Osborn @_aliceosborn]

New band name: Freudian Cilantro. I don’t have a band but dammit I’m claiming that shit.

[Alice Osborn @_aliceosborn]

@thomaslennon I think you’re charismatic enough to have LED a sex cult (but only if you really wanted to).

[Alice Osborn @_aliceosborn]

Honestly, getting hacked was the most Twitter love I think I’ve ever received.

[Alice Osborn @_aliceosborn]

My tweeterz dun got hacked y’all. Contrary to previous (now deleted) tweets, I have no strong opinions regarding Dogecoin. Is it weird that I kinda respect the fact that my hackers put their efforts into promoting cryptocurrency? Power to ya, tbh.

[Alice Osborn @_aliceosborn]

Can we start identifying more with Golden Girl archetypes rather than astrological signs? I’m a Rose with a moon in Dorothy. #GoldenGirls #ThankYouforBeingaFriend

[Alice Osborn @_aliceosborn]

Also Nevada & Wyoming need to GET IT TOGETHER

[Alice Osborn @_aliceosborn]

New York has the BEST online provider license verification website. I know everyone cares & thinks about this often so I thought I’d spill the tea.

[Alissa Nutting @AlissaNutting]

Me leaving the party after saying something weird and awkward

[Alice Osborn @_aliceosborn]

I honestly can’t recommend uninhibited singing highly enough as a form of therapy during these awful and trying times. Like seriously, I don’t care about your “skill level” just pick a song and GO!

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

he bled from his eye and summoned flies to his head and he served a Great Orange Death-Spreader and the old men screamed pence pence pence and the moon laughed

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

Trump’s Covid messaging:

JAN: It’s under control
FEB: It’s a hoax
M: Packed churches by Easter
APRIL: It’s going away
MAY: Time to open up
JUNE: Just embers
JULY: Time to open schools
AUG: Other countries are worse
SEPT: Vaccines coming soon!
OCT: *tweeting from the hospital*

[Sophia Benoit @1followernodad]

This debate feels like watching Uncut Gems

[Alice Osborn @_aliceosborn]

@nickkroll @mulaney Gil and George gotta get that Diana doll, bay-bay! #ohhello #Ditown

[Noel Cruz @ncruzdollart]

The People's Princess auction ends today! Want this Franklin Mint repaint? Bid now at https://t.co/um68hbbyga by https://t.co/Iepl3tGXBt

[Michelle Coyle @michelletoscale]

Burninating all the peasants #GameofThronesSeason8 #gameofthrones

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

I was going to have a GLASS of wine watching this goddamn thing and now I'm a bottle in. #ElectionNight

[Alice Osborn @_aliceosborn]

@raeltalkk AMEN

[The Onion @TheOnion]

"Breastfeeding dramatically improves a woman’s ability to identify what’s wrong with everyone in every situation." http://t.co/hClb8cI2rC

[Alice Osborn @_aliceosborn]

@heidiiiiii @waynecoyne DUH