ashwee

white/trash

[$ @jxtsummer]

i'm so happy when i get off work. i feel like i just got released from jail

[Degen CPA @DrewVento]

Letting my dad sleep in for a little on Father’s Day before I call him and ask for money

[Shannon @gardengirl125]

Me at 21 - staying out til 2, at work by 7, no probs

Me now - you want to start a movie at 8? Are you insane???

[Carter Baizen @rachellacroixs]

Crazy question to ask but do I have to watch Toy Story 4 to understand Toy Story 5. I'm sorry I was not trying to look at that nasty fork.

[autist @litteralyme0]

“I'm sorry I can't hang out tonight I'm busy”

Me being busy:

[AYANNY @gaygirldiaries]

“i dont need to drink or smoke to have fun” okay congrats btch you can drive then

[Integrity Guy @Integrity_Freak]

No ma’am, I don’t have a boarding pass. I’m simply here to enjoy the world famous dining and nightlife at O’Hare International Airport

[ɴᴀᴅɪᴀ. @luvblessingz]

My favorite part of reality tv is when someone goes “I never said that” and then they play a compilation of every time the did in fact say that.

[Joel Sawyer @joeldavidsawyer]

Nothing has ever made me prouder to be an American.

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

“Time to lock in” - me at 4pm when my shift started at 9am.

[. @playboicurrryy]

saying "are our" in a sentence

[Jessy_szn💕 @Astro_jessie]

Me sensing an opportunity to randomly sing a song mid conversation based off words you said

[Softboy @softboywin]

Going to the bathroom at work is microdosing vacation

[Resko★ @Bloke_Baz]

Can't believe it’s already June . Time flies when you work everyday of your fucking life

[Softboy @softboywin]

I think smartphones are ruining our lives but also if I had to go to the airport in 1998 with just my wits & a subway map I’d kill myself

[Esluva 🎀 @Vesper_2005]

People my age are on baby #2 and I'm on drink #5

[ᴅᴏᴏᴍᴇɴɪᴄ @dinosaur_info]

Does anyone have $1,250

[monique @sloppytortilla]

That is hilarious idc