polly pocketknife

goblin brained 🌲☦️

[polly pocketknife @_astro_not]

Had an unmedicated birth against my will (baby came too fast) Am I allowed to be pretentious about it?

[polly pocketknife @_astro_not]

@MrBeast 4,000,704 #promotion

[ᯓ★ @chorio_actis]

i get so sad going back to my empty place after a night with my friends, i'm very certain we're meant to fall asleep in a pile together like a litter of puppies

[skooks @skooookum]

If you’re ever feeling small, just bear in mind there’s probably at least one couple out there where your name is a sensitive subject

[grace @gracefishlove]

ur hating on me and im kinda seeing where ur coming from

[Grace 🦎🩵🐣🐈‍⬛🌃 @HormoneHangover]

When my husband is out of town, in order to get to sleep early enough for my 5:30 wakeup with the kids, I started doing no-screen time, lighting a candle, reading books in bed with a cup of tea, changing into pajamas. And that was when I realized that I was sleep training myself

[The Cooking Lady @wolffdew]

I know it’s really corny but I’m 100% sure I’ll feel at home anywhere in the world as long as my husbands with me

[josh @joshypooper]

going on a run hope i get shot and killed

[Sean @panoptisean]

You are hereby sentenced to eating the food you have at your house

[polly pocketknife @_astro_not]

For those of us who have toddlers & also cannot sing, trying to sing the Frozen soundtrack is a humiliation ritual

[polly pocketknife @_astro_not]

My husband buying linen clothes would be so much cooler if I could simply throw it all in the wash and dryer like our normal slop clothes

[Jelena @Feralfairy13]

The world would heal so much if we spent more time around campfires telling stories

[𝓷𝔁𝔂𝓲𝓮 @glooomiii]

no babe i love how 30 you are

[clare @sadderlizards]

just decided that everything is gonna be okay

[Thomas Gorton @AngstromHoot]

Attenborough has no respect for crabs. Always gives them ridiculous music. They are jesters to him

[Belle @plainwhiteclaw]

media people calling the salary range i'm in "poverty"

[masha @masha_slp]

I love when a husband refers to his wife and daughters as "my girls" its so tender and protective

[𝟮𝟭.🛸 @Big_tagg]

when i get more active on twitter thats how you know im getting insane again

[Soleil @soleiljolina]

Maybe I am a bit codependent but also we were not made to face the world alone

[cha$e @jehovahsflyest]

imagine you’re 5 years old & your parents are addicted to their phones