Brooke Hatch

[Brooke Hatch @_brookehatch]

Me: Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider
John: no Girls go to stupider to get more —
Me: thank you for proving my point

[Brooke Hatch @_brookehatch]

Completely submerging your double stuffed oreo in milk for 22 seconds creates the *perfect* soggy/crunch ratio

[Brooke Hatch @_brookehatch]

I’m 25 years old and today I found my first grey hair. Please let me know if you’d like to attend my funeral as the end is near.

[Brooke Hatch @_brookehatch]

@haleythebirdie @awattts Wait but who was the teacher?!? Lol

[Brooke Hatch @_brookehatch]

@Shay_2112 LOVE this show

[Brooke Hatch @_brookehatch]

Ladies and gentleman, I present you my mother.

[prance @bocxtop]

very cool of them to end the mask requirements just in time for pollen to rawdog my immune system

[bitter f*k @erlthhoodedswtr]

baby clifford and baby snoopy that is all

[Brooke Hatch @_brookehatch]

**PEOPLE WHO HAVE GOTTEN THEIR WISDOM TEETH OUT** How bad was the pain?

[Brooke Hatch @_brookehatch]

Most people use their security cameras to catch things like crime. I use mine so I can live view and wait for my pizza delivery to arrive.

[Brooke Hatch @_brookehatch]

@Shay_2112 Okay but is no one else going to acknowledge the absolute DUMP TRUCK sitting on that sink 👀

[Larra Shreve @ShreveLarra]

https://t.co/Fk3jky3tap

[Brooke Hatch @_brookehatch]

So bullshit that I had to pay 3700 dollars to fix my eyes permanently when there’s people out here seeing for free. Fuck all you 20/20 vision seeing bitches.

[Brooke Hatch @_brookehatch]

@Shay_2112 Missing you 💔🥺

[Brooke Hatch @_brookehatch]

@JenniferSilman No. I cringe when my nails get filed and then they hit my finger tips. And then the UV light burns my nails sometimes. I’ve started doing my own with colorstreet. I don’t think I’ll go back unless I have to!

[Brooke Hatch @_brookehatch]

@sussyD_ I think it started as “bye bye” and then it just became acceptable to say “buh” from people not annunciating their words.

[Brooke Hatch @_brookehatch]

@sussyD_ Ouch I feel attacked. I tell everyone buh bye 🤣🤣🤣

[Tony Hawk @tonyhawk]

at a Covid testing site (wearing masks), handing over paperwork for me & two of my kids:
woman looking over papers: "okay... Anthony, Keegan and Kadence... Hawk? Are you guys related to Tony Hawk?"
me: yes
her: "Are you pulling my leg?"
me: no, we are all directly related to him

[Brooke Hatch @_brookehatch]

@Shay_2112 No, that stupid bitch.

[Brooke Hatch @_brookehatch]

Alexa, pour me a glass of wine.