Morgan Johnson

Captain Morgan, but they call me Cappie

[Morgan Johnson @_callmecappie]

@AsinineOSB soon, may 4

[Morgan Johnson @_callmecappie]

@AsinineOSB waaaiitt for meeee

[Morgan Johnson @_callmecappie]

"I just want someone who wants to hang out all the time, thinks I'm the best person in the world and wants to have sex with only me" #GIRLS

[Morgan Johnson @_callmecappie]

@Matt_Eldridge I'm sowwy :(

[Morgan Johnson @_callmecappie]

"were you on pain killers during your highschool graduation??"- @Jill_Lavoie's dad

[Morgan Johnson @_callmecappie]

Aaand all of a sudden today is my birthday #freepie&absinthe

[Morgan Johnson @_callmecappie]

"your coupon expired yesterday" #fuckCVS

[Morgan Johnson @_callmecappie]

#thatakwardmomentwhen people have made a reservation to a restaurant that is completely empty

[Morgan Johnson @_callmecappie]

Ok at this point who's counting, right??

[Morgan Johnson @_callmecappie]

Make that 2 glasses.. #ohwell

[Morgan Johnson @_callmecappie]

Good day at work, got out early and now a glass of wine #sonice

[Morgan Johnson @_callmecappie]

I love my mom. She gets me and hasn't steered me wrong yet ❤

[Morgan Johnson @_callmecappie]

@afrikaboombata you think???? #duh

[Morgan Johnson @_callmecappie]

@rjmascolo just thought it was funny. Not applicable to me. At least I don't think haha

[Morgan Johnson @_callmecappie]

“@LondonLive: 5 rings on the Olympics flag, 5 Spice Girls singing atop black taxis http://t.co/XrWQBqQM” whaaaaattt?!?

[Morgan Johnson @_callmecappie]

RT @a_luddy: "No I don't want to travel the world on your boat with our mixed race baby without a college degree...."- @_callmecappie

[Morgan Johnson @_callmecappie]

@DanielKemery I'll take credit for that #yourewelcome

[Morgan Johnson @_callmecappie]

"endlessly pounding after pleasure, endlessly fleeing from pain, endlessly ignoring 90 percent of our experience"

[Morgan Johnson @_callmecappie]

RT: @_lunacita: gahhh mac miller, have my children.

[Morgan Johnson @_callmecappie]

Don't you ever for a second get to thinking that you're irreplaceable #totheleft