ethan

fuck ‘em

[Johnny Jet @JohnnyJTravels]

happy gobble me swallow me drip gravy down the side of me day or thanksgiving as some of you call it

[Matty V @shmattyv]

“Sometime I’m so hungover I think it’s 2013” @_E_HENDERSON_

[ethan @_E_HENDERSON_]

I’ve tried for the last 10 years to get into football to have a reason to talk with the boys but I can’t. All you’re getting from me is interruption.

[ethan @_E_HENDERSON_]

@shmattyv yeah

[ethan @_E_HENDERSON_]

Apartments that smell like piss stop smelling like piss after about 5 minutes and that’s the biggest problem.

[ethan @_E_HENDERSON_]

“This is my year.”

[ethan @_E_HENDERSON_]

If you catch me with my windows down bumpin’ Cascada and cocaine on my way to the job site, mind ya business.

[ethan @_E_HENDERSON_]

“Good thing I have walkie talkies that reach from Alaska to Hawaii because if two of them damn satellites collide, only the people with landlines are gon’ be able to communicate because cell phones are FUCKED” -Uber driver from Wichita

[ethan @_E_HENDERSON_]

“Just a wagon train of spent broads headed up north. The underground snailroad”

[ethan @_E_HENDERSON_]

“Will cool rims make my car look jazzier?”

[ethan @_E_HENDERSON_]

“I was talking to this girl on LinkedIn”

[ethan @_E_HENDERSON_]

Just gettin’ busted up for the hell of it.

[ethan @_E_HENDERSON_]

Moved a turtle out of the road just to obliterate a squirrel 10 minutes later. Guess I’ll have a happy whiskey and a sad whiskey.

[mr denver @evansarault]

Drink irresponsibility

[ethan @_E_HENDERSON_]

@evansarault VSP press release ft. the small town share button. Facebook is ruthless

[ethan @_E_HENDERSON_]

I really hope the guys that wore Chippewa’s to senior prom are okay.

[ethan @_E_HENDERSON_]

@evansarault That’s pre rogaine, give me a break

[ethan @_E_HENDERSON_]

Girls will order 2 espresso martinis, the salmon,a shot of tequila and the whole dessert menu and dogs will eat a whole acre of grass but THEY ALL LOOK AT ME WHEN THEIR STOMACHS HURTS.