You need boredom. A lot of it. Start by going on walks without music. No stimulation. No distractions of any kind. If you learn to sit with your own thoughts, for long enough, in time they will start serving you. You'll start having ideas once again. You'll start developing an extreme sense of clarity that will shift you into the next stage of your life. All by being bored, which is pretty insane.
when i'm mad from my perspective but i can also see their perspective so now i’m carrying double the emotional weight and being eaten away by my anger and empathy
One day you wake up and you're 23 or 25,or 27 and suddenly everything feels like it's moving too fast. You miss something can't you quite name. Not a person, not a place, just a feeling. The feeling of being young, when everything was new and the smallest moments felt big. Late night talks with friends, walking home in the dark laughing about nothing, summers that felt like forever. You just want that again - to feel alive in the little things, to slow down, to be here, really here, before it all becomes another memory.
Work. Work. Work. Stay hydrated. Go to the dentist. 10,000 steps. “What’s for dinner?” Insurance. Drink water. Pay a bill. Pay a bill. Smile. Credit Score. Check engine light. Go get gas. ALLERGIES! TAXES! STUDENT LOANS! Phone storage full. Email. Email. Apple $12.99. Apple $9.99. Subscriptions. Subscription. Overdraft. Laundry. Fold. Text. Text. Text. Clean the house. “I haven’t seen you in a while.” Doctors appoinment. Hair appoinment. Nail appointment. RENT. WAR! GOVERNMENT! POLITICS! THE PRESIDENT!!
YEAH SEX IS COOL BUT HAVE YOU EVER HAD SOMEBODY GIVE YOU A BUNCH OF LITTLE KISSES ALL OVER YOUR FACE UNTIL YOU'RE GIGGLING AND BLUSHING BECAUSE THAT IS PEAK