eating graphite for fun and profit

dont connect with me on linkedin (she/her)

[eating graphite for fun and profit @_karaoneal_]

@trixiemattel @DVDSLVR Hi balds

[eating graphite for fun and profit @_karaoneal_]

Charcuterie boards are grown up lunchables

[eating graphite for fun and profit @_karaoneal_]

I like to look at flight attendants while they’re doing their little safety demonstration because you can tell they really worked on it

[eating graphite for fun and profit @_karaoneal_]

ah yes the royal family

[eating graphite for fun and profit @_karaoneal_]

all I really want in life is a vodka soaked olive

[eating graphite for fun and profit @_karaoneal_]

can’t believe I have a headache when all I’ve done today is stare at a computer screen and grind my teeth

[eating graphite for fun and profit @_karaoneal_]

when the Uber eats guy is on a bike and the app shows him on his lil bicycle it’s like…ok I get it….you’re better than me…no one even cares tho. I’m not insecure

[eating graphite for fun and profit @_karaoneal_]

then I had to look in the mirror for 5 minutes and try to convince myself that I’m a real human woman

[eating graphite for fun and profit @_karaoneal_]

sorry I’m late to work boss I had a hard time finding work clothes that didn’t feel icky on my skin

[eating graphite for fun and profit @_karaoneal_]

@SubtleHurricane Not tonight, but could be a weekend project

[eating graphite for fun and profit @_karaoneal_]

“How are you doing?”
“My cat likes pepperoni”

[eating graphite for fun and profit @_karaoneal_]

my family was sending cat photos in our group chat so I sent one without reading the texts and looking back my response seems insane

[Tropical Storm @SubtleHurricane]

Which inhabitant of our apartment is most likely to murder the others?

[eating graphite for fun and profit @_karaoneal_]

I can’t wait to become a mom someday so I can learn the secret of how to fold things nicely

[eating graphite for fun and profit @_karaoneal_]

ok maybe not. maybe that’s too much cereal

[eating graphite for fun and profit @_karaoneal_]

a box of cereal is only 2-3 servings

[lea chin-sang @bigfatmoosepssy]

@erinmartina @emokendallroy When God sings with his creations, will a turtle not be part of the choir?

[eating graphite for fun and profit @_karaoneal_]

yeah sure, why not

[riley from hivemind @RileyJohnSavage]

me at my first rodeo: …ok I’m confused

[eating graphite for fun and profit @_karaoneal_]

why is this video my phone made actually so cute I’m gonna cry