Melissa

Scorpio🦂

[We don't deserve cats 😺 @catsareblessing]

My neighbor's cat got my cat pregnant. I woke up to this on my porch 😂

[tt✮⋆ @Bluebirdeyessss]

I love the word "interesting" cuz it's so chaotically neutral

[: @_dxllz7]

Buying concert tickets in another city and planning a trip around it. >>>>

[CJ☔️ @samwakinsvv]

Why did you need slaves for this you lazy pieces of shii

[Mandy_M @mandymatsinhe]

I only drink water and alcohol.

[ỌBA DÉLÉKÈ  👑 @ObaDeleke]

My project:

[Miss Ally @MissAlly_01]

I just discovered I've had $10 coming out of my account every month since January to a zoo I've never been to & it's because I was drunk at New Year's, went online & sponsored a wombat called Trevor.

The worst part is that he hasn't even written to me yet...

[Thanos @abadojack]

Brit: I’ll schedule the meeting for Monday, June 1st

Me: That’s a public holiday in Kenya. I won’t be working.

Brit: Really? What’s the holiday about?

…

[Lewis Capaldi @LewisCapaldi]

Me deciding what to wear on stage every night

[FantaBariidi 𓈒 𓇼 @MeranSays]

Boda riders have adapted to storytelling in the wind by turning their head slightly towards you. Like bro ni kweli hii serikali ni mbaya sana na mabibi wanasumbua but geuza kichwa tafadhali tutaanguka.

[KIFOTO @Kifotooh]

Ukikaa indoors unaoverthink ukitoka nje unaoverspend 🥹

[🐾p3arlly 𐙚 @y0urhaunt3dgf]

“Connected without internet” is up there on the top two list of ragebaits😭

[𝓐𝓺𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓪𝓱🧚🏼 @aqee_sofine]

I thought sex in the city was actually about sex.

[JKP @ringheree]

stay right there baby we gon get you some help

[rewaju @onedarkhorse_]

.@grok please put this man in the fucking middle of the painted feathers, i can’t take this.

[Ashtonexi @Ashtonexi]

me after downloading the game from the ad to try and save the king from the cold and the game is totally different:

[Weeh Mzee™ @weehmzeee]

Hii gass imekaa = nimekaa sana bila kupata homa = siwezi ibiwa simu

[Bhut' uNduuh @Nduuh_Masondo]

There is nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.😭😭