broth baby

wasting my DINK years. Bad at hobbies. Well dressed. Lots of whining.

[broth baby @_livelaughloath]

Entering my “bless your heart” era

[kb @ojvhteuhyhes]

when we saw barbie my bf was chuckling along during the bit where the barbies are distracting the kens w/ Men Things until it got to the barbie who was like “i just keep all my money in a savings account...” & then he turned to look at me with horror in his eyes

[broth baby @_livelaughloath]

Would absolutely love it if I would start bleeding now 🩸 🥹

[broth baby @_livelaughloath]

Couldn’t sleep got up at 5 to carpe diem made some coffee took the dog on a walk, already feel like absolute shit 2 hours later am I going to throw up

[broth baby @_livelaughloath]

People bringing their dogs to a fireworks show lmao

[broth baby @_livelaughloath]

Ma’am you are a person? Do people think it’s cute to do this (🍦) 👇🏻

[broth baby @_livelaughloath]

@spiritnght2 @superloafcat Ask Hunter

[broth baby @_livelaughloath]

My husband told me he had a dream that I got a raise and I asked him how much and he said “Like 10k or something” and clearly I cannot even achieve the level of wealth required to live in Seattle in the dreamworld

[broth baby @_livelaughloath]

Do you guys think EmRata and Eric Andre are still together

[broth baby @_livelaughloath]

@poetsonfilm Not sure if the man spreading or outfit is more upsetting

[broth baby @_livelaughloath]

How do I nicely tell my husband that my PMS is currently rendering his existence as intolerable

[broth baby @_livelaughloath]

I love that orcas were finally like “nah, let’s show humans who the real baddies of the ocean are” and just started taking out boats for funsies

[broth baby @_livelaughloath]

@Micah_McGurk No doubt

[broth baby @_livelaughloath]

If someone handed me eggs like this they finna get slapped

[broth baby @_livelaughloath]

Can you imagine paying $3k for a dog and then never training it and it just acts like an absolute menace for the next ~14 years until it dies and you’re relieved it’s over and you can spend $3k and try again

[broth baby @_livelaughloath]

I want an Irish accent. Just one of the subtle comprehensible ones, not like Derry Girls

[broth baby @_livelaughloath]

I love showering after a big meal so I can rub the soap all over my big round belly

[broth baby @_livelaughloath]

Just made the best salad of my LyFE drooling

[broth baby @_livelaughloath]

Ladies how many guy “friends” have you lost after it became clear to them they were never gonna get it

[broth baby @_livelaughloath]

@jackedin :(Wordle 733 X/6

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