One time when I was like 11 my dad took me to an Italian restaurant and the waiter asked what my name was and I said “Sam but you can call me captain ravioli” and my dad just looked at me and said “what the fuck was that? don’t do that” and I’ve been chasing that high ever since.
National Security Adviser suggested today that sanctions & protests have Iran “choked off”, will force them to negotiate. Actually, I couldn’t care less if they negotiate. Will be totally up to them but, no nuclear weapons and “don’t kill your protesters.”
All is well! Missiles launched from Iran at two military bases located in Iraq. Assessment of casualties & damages taking place now. So far, so good! We have the most powerful and well equipped military anywhere in the world, by far! I will be making a statement tomorrow morning.
President Trump was officially Impeached by the US House of Representatives. Know what happens now?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Because the Senate will stop wastin’ taxpayer time & money and Trump will be aquitted.
Sorry Democrats. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.
Merica.