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Met someone like this recently and it left me genuinely unsettled. Her parents are Muslims but her grandma was a Christian who raised her mom as one. Her mom later converted to Islam.
She doesn’t firmly identify with either religion right now cos her mom told her to wait and see who she marries and basically align with him. She is perfectly willing to marry either a Christian or a Muslim.
The first thing that crossed my mind was, you genuinely do not understand what either religion is actually claiming. Cos if you did, how could you delegate the destiny of your own soul to a marriage prospect?
This is also why I no longer do the kumbaya “we all worship the same God” performance. I have Muslim friends and colleagues. I can sit with you, eat with you, genuinely enjoy your company, and still tell you plainly that I do not believe in the substance of what you are doing, that I think it is completely baseless and remarkably flawed.
I have always maintained that friendship and sharp disagreement are not mutually exclusive. Sports, religion, I will tell you directly. The exceptions for me are human rights and politics. Not this.
Christianity makes a claim that cannot be softened, Jesus is God. Not a prophet. Not a moral teacher. God. And He is the only path to salvation and eternal life. If that claim is true, Islam is not an alternative road to the same destination. It is a fabrication from the pit of hell.
Paul did not mince words; “even if an angel brings another gospel, let them be accursed.” Under Christianity, Islam is accursed. The being that appeared to Mohammed was not Gabriel. It was a demon, which is precisely what Mohammed himself believed in that cave before Khadijah talked him out of it.
You cannot sit with that honestly and remain passive. It is not an option.
Floating between the two is a serious sign of existential unseriousness. I will respect the committed Muslim far more than the one swimming with the tides, cos at least the committed Muslim has grasped that the stakes are real.
And tbh there is a weight to this. Accepting Jesus as Lord can mean confronting what that implies about your late Muslim grandmother or cousin, or best friend. That is not a small thing. But that weight is not an excuse to commit to nothing. You never find peace with that. You just find a softer way to dodge the question. Lukewarm is not neutral, far from it. It is a answer in and of itself. And frankly imo it is the worst one.
This is why Islam strongly discourages its women from marrying outside the religion, while it allows or encourages its men to marry outside Islam.
Historically and socially, women are often more likely to bend or conform within marriage sometimes even changing their religion, customs, or beliefs in order to maintain the union and family harmony.
Secondly, for any ideology, culture, or religion to propagate and survive across generations, it must capture the minds and loyalty of women.
Women are the vessels of procreation and the primary transmitters of culture. They raise the children, shape their early beliefs, and pass the ideology down to the next generation.
Because of this, controlling or securing women’s adherence has always been central to the survival of religions.
Women are the key pillar of religious continuity remove women from it, and the ideology struggles to reproduce itself and eventually weakens.
I saw this post and it stopped me because this is something I’ve been teaching for a long time.
The data isn’t surprising to me. Structure improves relationships. We’ve seen it over and over again with the families we work with at Tensai.
But here’s what I want to add to the conversation.
The reason most parents struggle with structure isn’t because they don’t believe in it. It’s because structure requires something from them first.
Whatever standard you set for your child, you have to keep it yourself. That’s where it falls apart for a lot of families.
You tell your child “no cursing” but they hear you curse.
You tell them “put the phone down” but you’re scrolling through yours at dinner.
You set a bedtime for them but you have no discipline around your own sleep.
Children are watching. And when they spot the gap between what you say and what you do, they stop taking the rules seriously.
Not because they’re rebellious. Because they’re honest.
They see the hypocrisy and they call it out. And most parents aren’t ready for that conversation.
So the first step to building structure for your child is building it for yourself.
Now here’s the part that connects to what I teach daily.
A lot of parents come to us wanting their child to perform better academically. “My child doesn’t want to read.” “My child can’t focus.” “My child hates studying.”
But when we look at the home, there’s no structure supporting that outcome. No dedicated study time. No screen limits. No homework routine.
The child has unfettered access to devices, entertainment, distractions.
Everything in the environment is working against the very thing the parent is asking for.
You can’t demand academic performance in a home that’s structured for entertainment.
Structure is what makes everything else possible. The bond. The discipline. The academic results. It all falls to the level of structure you have in place.
And yes, I agree with the original post. High warmth plus high structure is the winning formula.
You can absolutely have a deep, loving bond with your child while maintaining firm boundaries. Those two things aren’t in conflict. They strengthen each other.
But I’ll add one thing.
Structure alone doesn’t build a child who wants to learn. It creates the environment where learning can happen.
The desire comes from something else. It comes from how the child feels when they study. From what happens after the effort.
From whether the experience is rewarding or punishing.
That’s a whole other conversation. And I’ll share more on that soon.
It was very tough thinking I wasn't good enough after all.
I was also upset because I felt the HR was doing an injustice to Chioma's brand but I wasn't sure whether I could reach out. The offer letter she sent to me was copied from chat gpt and appeared invisible in light mode.
Dr. Olasupo’s work as a Senior Private-Sector Specialist with the International Finance Corporation (IFC) deserves a mention. Here, unlike his previous roles on policy design, he not only tilted towards investment structuring and private -sector financing, but also participated, especially in large markets, in large-scale development lending and initiatives geared at strengthening ecosystems. All these he did in a hybrid statue as he had to combine an economist’s training with hands-on financing and project execution.
His appointment in October 2023 by President Bola Ahmed Tinubu as the Managing Director and Chief Executive Officer of Nigeria’s Bank of Industry (BOI)- Nigeria’s premier development finance institution, marked an important shift in Dr. Olasupo Olusi’s glittering career as he transitioned from international technocrat to domestic institutional leader. Under his leadership, BOI adopted the strategy of using financial structures as instruments for economic inclusion instead of a profit-driven expansion. The bank is pursuing lofty goals such as raising nearly €2 billion from global institutions- the largest transaction executed by an African development finance institution; designing initiatives such as the Rural Areas Program on Investment for Development (RAPID), focused on underserved communities; and supporting government-backed loan and grant programs targeting MSMEs and nano-enterprises.
Although Dr. Olasupo’s story is still unfolding, he represents a leader whose journey gives out that legendary story of a global economist forcing himself home to lead an institution that would offer an industrialized economy to his people. It is important to carve out from his journey thus far a steadied belief that a sound leader can emerge through the needle of disciplined policy, research, and development finances instead of mere spectacles of a glamorous persona.
This is wishing him all the best as he keeps pursuing the goals he has set out to achieve as the Managing Director/Chief Executive Officer of Nigeria’s Bank of Industry.
Good luck to him!!!
#KNOW_YOUR_CEO
The older you get, the more you realize Godly friendships aren't just a blessing. They're a necessity. You don't need a big circle. You need people who pray with you, correct you with love, carry no hate, no envy, celebrate when you win, and push you to become your best.
I absolutely hate how interviewers always ask Stan nze about his wife like they don’t believe she bagged him. I also hate that he doesn’t just curse them out straight up.
Philanthropy as entertainment. Where people video poor or desperate people they are trying to help and put it up on social media complete with those people kneeling to thank them. Bottom barrel.