I’m smoking in a parking lot. A man pulled over and asked “how do I get in there.”
He pointed at the road so idk if he was asking for directions or hitting on me.
Either way, it’s a no for me dog.
Beyond irritated with @Chase
Spent 34 minutes on the phone, transferred 4 times then told “there’s an issue on the line can you call back”
All because I followed their instructions to call with a dispute under $5.
Scrooge McDuck over there!
In 2017, I paid Cards Against Humanity to protect a pristine plot of border land from Trump’s racist wall. But then an even richer, more racist billionaire—Elon Musk—stole my land and dumped his shit all over it. @ElonMusk owes me $100. #ElonOwesMe100Bucks https://t.co/Sv3NPKolRU
Binging Greys anatomy then going to a dr for a physical is hilarious.
Me-Oh I stopped taking that
Dr- One less thing to take!
Me- still smoking
Dr- Maybe one day you’ll quit
Me- my birth control has been free floating for 2 years.
Dr- call around, someone will take it out.
Second time this year a salesperson has run my credit & said “that’s the most anyone qualifies for.”
It’s extra great bc I’m the most carefree (& clearly high) customer they always think they just wasted 15 minutes.
Then that screen loads and I see them cum a little.
Flat tire in a small town. Luckily right in front of a tire place. Dude brought me my tire with a look on his face like “how the fuck!?”
Somehow the innards were shedding and it was full of debris.
Extra lucky, got a replacement for $40