Emily Gheyberry ⚜

Perfection Personified.

[Emily Gheyberry ⚜ @_luxuryrap]

I’m smoking in a parking lot. A man pulled over and asked “how do I get in there.”
He pointed at the road so idk if he was asking for directions or hitting on me.
Either way, it’s a no for me dog.

[Emily Gheyberry ⚜ @_luxuryrap]

@elonmusk Clean up my land or pay me

[Emily Gheyberry ⚜ @_luxuryrap]

Beyond irritated with @Chase
Spent 34 minutes on the phone, transferred 4 times then told “there’s an issue on the line can you call back”
All because I followed their instructions to call with a dispute under $5.
Scrooge McDuck over there!

[Emily Gheyberry ⚜ @_luxuryrap]

@elonmusk So is all the dirt you threw on my land!

[Emily Gheyberry ⚜ @_luxuryrap]

Depression is cool, but have you tried day drinking?

[Emily Gheyberry ⚜ @_luxuryrap]

In 2017, I paid Cards Against Humanity to protect a pristine plot of border land from Trump’s racist wall. But then an even richer, more racist billionaire—Elon Musk—stole my land and dumped his shit all over it. @ElonMusk owes me $100. #ElonOwesMe100Bucks https://t.co/Sv3NPKolRU

[Emily Gheyberry ⚜ @_luxuryrap]

It smells like a dirty bandage downtown.

[Emily Gheyberry ⚜ @_luxuryrap]

Tamra is a phenominal housewife but Jesus Jugs, she sucks. #RHOC #WWHL

[Emily Gheyberry ⚜ @_luxuryrap]

Ever since @jimmyjohns stopped saying they were freaky fast, my orders and experiences have freakin’ sucked.

[Emily Gheyberry ⚜ @_luxuryrap]

Still have not been able to sign into max…

[Emily Gheyberry ⚜ @_luxuryrap]

I missed this app. Finally got my password corrected.
Next step “Max”
Then finishing my taxes 😫

[Emily Gheyberry ⚜ @_luxuryrap]

Binging Greys anatomy then going to a dr for a physical is hilarious.
Me-Oh I stopped taking that
Dr- One less thing to take!
Me- still smoking
Dr- Maybe one day you’ll quit
Me- my birth control has been free floating for 2 years.
Dr- call around, someone will take it out.

[Emily Gheyberry ⚜ @_luxuryrap]

That T-Mobile commercial with Jason Mamoa is such bullshit.
He lives in a desert, ain’t no wifi in those walls. Nor that much grass on the street!

[Emily Gheyberry ⚜ @_luxuryrap]

I missed this app. Finally got my password corrected.
Next step “Max”
Then finishing my taxes 😫

[Emily Gheyberry ⚜ @_luxuryrap]

Me, as the deal is closing….OH SHIT, I’LL LOSE PEACOCK!
Salesperson: You’re saving $90/month, you could just pay for it.

[Emily Gheyberry ⚜ @_luxuryrap]

Second time this year a salesperson has run my credit & said “that’s the most anyone qualifies for.”
It’s extra great bc I’m the most carefree (& clearly high) customer they always think they just wasted 15 minutes.
Then that screen loads and I see them cum a little.

[Emily Gheyberry ⚜ @_luxuryrap]

Flat tire in a small town. Luckily right in front of a tire place. Dude brought me my tire with a look on his face like “how the fuck!?”
Somehow the innards were shedding and it was full of debris.
Extra lucky, got a replacement for $40

[Emily Gheyberry ⚜ @_luxuryrap]

Listening to RL Stine’s interview on @DannyPellegrino and I cried when I heard him say Batley. Miss you baby.

[Emily Gheyberry ⚜ @_luxuryrap]

Had a fecebook memory pop up with 7tagged people. All 7 with separate long standing beef amongst each-other….

[Emily Gheyberry ⚜ @_luxuryrap]

My nephew is my inspiration.

[Emily Gheyberry ⚜ @_luxuryrap]

@ShloganShlong Your “we’ve got company” video is one of my fave comedic works